Of Forever
by SleepyBard
Summary: Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. Or is he?
1. Part I

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part I  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome **heartdraco11** for the beta-ing

**Summary:**_ A feeling of deep longing, of an ache so profound in its nature, crippled me as I fell to the ground. I had no idea what happened or how long it lasted, but it seemed to never end, the feeling of unrequited affection._

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

**Visit my profile for my Livejournal page, where all the art is available for this fic, as well as the NC-17 version of the fic.**

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Part I

By nighttime, it was raining. The clouds had completely covered the dark sky, mocking the inhabitants of the town. The only word to describe the feeling pervading throughout the house was dreary.

I was waiting on Dad to come home. He was over at Bella's again, watching the Sunday game with Charlie. It was late and I'd already eaten, but I didn't feel right sleeping without Dad returning home first.

I was idly flipping through the TV channels, not really paying attention to anything that was on . I had nothing else to do.

I fell asleep at some point. When I woke up, the digital clock was glowing 3:02. I knew Dad was home because I was covered with a blanket, the TV was switched off, as were the lights, and the blinds had been closed. Tired, I rubbed my face with my hands before standing and groggily making my way upstairs.

Though, as I lay on my bed, sleep eluded me. I stared at the ceiling for so long I wasn't sure how much time had passed by. Before I knew it, the sun was peeking up from the horizon. Rays of meager light filtered in through my bedroom window. I sighed as I realized I'd have to get ready for school soon.

The day passed by uneventfully. It wasn't as though there was much to happen anyway.

Dad left in the afternoon to do some errands, leaving me the house to myself once again. Rather than stay at home as I'd done the night before, I made my way to La Push beach. I'd found I could do a lot of thinking there, and no one would bother me. The weather was still drab, too bitingly cold for most people. With my intense body heat, it wasn't a problem for me. [AN: biologically speaking, this would in fact be the exact opposite. Having a high body temperature is _much_ worse in cold weather and would not protect you in the _slightest_. If anything, it would only hasten the negative effects of the cold].

I sat in the wet sand in my wolf form. My thick fur protected me from the cold. Staring out at the lake, my thoughts turned to recent events. As much as I wanted to let everything go and move on, I had to accept that this wouldn't be happening until I'd found closure first.

Bella and the leech returning left me feeling both oddly happy and disappointed. I was glad Bella was back, but the stupid leech…

A snap sounded behind me and immediately I was on alert. I spun around, my teeth bared as I flattened my ears back threateningly.

"Calm down, mutt," I heard. I took a step forward.

_Leech_, I spat in my mind. I must have been truly engrossed in my thoughts to not have noticed his scent before, but now that I knew he was here, I couldn't believe I hadn't sensed him sooner.

_What are you doing here?_ I asked him, not bothering to hide my distaste. _Come out of the shadows, you freak_.

"Look who's talking," he said, stepping out from his place behind the trees.

I froze.

I knew, even before the feeling had fully passed. There was no mistaking it. The way the trees and the stones and all sound muted away into nothing; the way I noticed every strand of his chestnut hair, every line marring his otherwise perfect skin; how the pallor of his face only served to enhance his unapproachable, stone like perfection. As far as I was away from him, I could sense his eyes, imagine the gold irises. He was, in that moment, _my world_…

"Fuck," I heard him say.

_Oh no_.

The spell was broken the moment he began backing away from me.

"Tell me you didn't," he all but whispered, staring at me. I didn't respond. It felt as though my heart had stopped. I was so utterly shocked, I couldn't think of anything adequate to reply with.

"Black_, tell me_ you didn't!" This time he shouted. I took a step forward, though I was unsure why. He took a step back.

"_Black_-" I leapt before he could say another word.

One minute I was inching towards him, next thing I knew I was pouncing on him like a lion on a wounded gazelle in the Serengeti.

He fell backward with me looming over him. I didn't snarl or spit or bite at his face as I normally would have, as I normally _wanted_ to. I simply stared down at him, looking at his face as though for the first time.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, nor why. As towering as I was over him, he could have easily pushed me away from him at any moment.

"Why?" he finally murmured. I couldn't answer him even if I'd known the answer.

The look in his eyes burned me. The beast inside me shuddered from his intense gaze.

_I can't-I don't-_

"Jacob," it was the first time he'd ever spoken my name. He whispered it so softly, the word fading into the wind almost before I caught it.

I phased back without thinking, uncaring that I was now kneeling above my sworn enemy completely naked. I moved away and sat back on my haunches, watching as Edward raised himself to his elbows.

"No one can know," I finally said. I'd hoped to speak firmly but there was unmistakable tremor to my voice.

"And how do you propose we maintain such a ruse? I am certain your _packmates_ will be enlightened of the situation the moment you all shift."

"I can block my thoughts. I won't be able to hide _what_ I've done but I- I can hide _who_." He turned away from me, and as much as I wanted not to, I couldn't help the feeling of disappointment that washed over me.

"You have no right to feel such," he said as he stood. "I do not, and _will not_, belong to you, Jacob Black."

"You're right." He had his back to me, but I sensed him stiffen at my words. "You may never belong to me, but I will _always_ belong to you now." _You're my imprint_. The thought came before I could stop it.

And I knew he'd heard it.

***


	2. Part II

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Masterpost  
**Author: Sleepybard**  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome** Bovus_stercus ** for the beta-ing

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

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Part II

Days turned to weeks, and I didn't see Edward once in all that time, not since the moment we'd shared at the beach.

I tried to tell myself it was nothing. Lord knows how hard I tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness aching within me, feeling bereft of my imprint. The ever constant reminder in my heart that I was missing something was crippling, but I had to endure it.

It was when we were approaching one week since I'd last seen the vampire that I began to realize I could truly empathize with Bella now. Those months she spent away from Edward…I could only imagine how difficult they must have been for her, and _she_ didn't even imprint on him. If what she had felt in those long months was even half of what I had begun to feel…than I have to wonder how she ever survived.

But I suppose I had much to do with that. I was there for her when he left. I'll admit that in the time we spent together, I fell a bit in love with her myself. But those feelings of affection I harbored for the girl were nothing, _nothing_ compared to the feelings Edward caused me to feel. And while Bella had me, her father, her friends at school…I have no one.

I still hadn't told any of my packmates. They all knew that I'd imprinted, there was no way around that. But I'd managed to keep them all in the dark thus far as to _who_ exactly I'd imprinted on. The way I saw it, they wouldn't need to ever know, at least not until I died from the heartbreak of rejection.

In those weeks spent alone, I came to accept that this was my end, essentially. I couldn't break apart Edward and Bella. I cared too much for Bella and even more for Edward to ever be selfish enough to try to tear them apart, especially since they had only just begun to heal each other from their months of separation. No, I couldn't, _wouldn't_, be that selfish.

But I had to find closure somehow. I needed to know what Edward wanted from me, it was the only way. Whether he asked me to be his friend, lover, brother, guardian…even if he asked me to set myself on fire and let him watch me burn, I would do it all and more for him.

At times it frightened me just how far I was willing to go for the vampire. He had, until only recently, been the bane of my existence, and now I suddenly found myself willing to kill himself for him, just to please him. I should feel angry, this determinism stripping away all freewill of mine. But as the weeks passed by, I become less and less inclined to feel anything at all, least of all something as passionate as anger or even mild indignation.

I lost sight of everything. When the elders had passed on the stories of imprinting, they'd always said that the one you imprinted on would become your entire life. I didn't realize how serious they were.

Edward was more than my life. He was my breath, my sustenance. Thoughts of him kept me awake and thoughts of him tore me apart. He was my reason to live and reason to die. He was, simply put, everything. And I knew, with simple clarity, that the longer I allowed myself to wallow, to abstain from his contact, the closer I would be driven to my end.

So I went to speak to him.

I never understood why the leeches weren't allowed on our land, yet we could freely pass through theirs. Of course I understood that they were perceived as dangerous, feral creatures and we could potentially be the victims to their insatiable thirst. Yet we, as shifters, were every bit as dominant and beastly as they were. They killed, but so did we. They fought, and so did we. We had the capacity to love, so couldn't they?

I was a wreck as I walked to his home. The normally confident, bitter Jacob Black was replaced by something that only resembled the boy I'd once been. In the weeks without my imprint, I'd become a mere shell of my previous self, unable to muster any true emotion.

But now, walking to the Cullen residence in a pair of cutoffs and t-shirt, my gut was entangled in intricate knots of nervousness, anxiety, anticipation.

I couldn't imagine he'd be overly joyed to see me, but I had to hope he would, at the very least, listen to what I had to say.

The decision to come here had been simple to make. But actually finding it in myself to start the journey had been far harder than expected. And now that I was so close, I couldn't turn back, no matter how much I wanted to.

Many times I nearly turned around and went home. But then I pictured Edward's face. I imagined his pale, marble cold skin; his stoic, nearly dispassionate eyes (would they be gold or black when I saw him?); his elegantly structured cheekbones; everything about Edward, physical and not, I pictured in my mind and I knew I couldn't stop.

I couldn't, _wouldn't_, let the fear of rejection prevent me from ever knowing for sure. I could die of a lonely heart, yes, but I could also live with the comfort of knowing that even if he did turn me away, I had at least tried. Imprinting wasn't supposed to make one weak, but strong. And to simply give up…well, that wouldn't make me strong.

I knew I was getting closer to his home as the overpowering sent of leech permeated the air. Each time the wind picked up, it carried their scent to me. But over the usual acrid smell was the unmistakable scent of Edward. It was faint but there, perfect, lovely, and enough to make this trip worth it. Even if I didn't see him today, even if his family members came after me and ripped me to pieces, I would at least die with my imprint's sweet scent swimming through my mind.

I approached the edge of the woods and saw the Cullens' home. It was just as picturesque and perfect as I remembered it to be, when Sam had taken myself and the other newly phased tribe members scouting, pointing out the treaty line and the Cullen house. Of course back then, I'd sneered at its vintage beauty, its aged white walls, the trimmed grass. Everything to me had been just as freaky as the home's inhabitants.

I stopped behind a tree and stared for a moment.

How ready, how _desperate_, was I to know? If we avoided each other, I would at least die a prolonged death. But if he completely shunned me now, I would die within the week, if I lived even then.

I could only pray that Edward was not so heartless as to let me die in such a way. I'd rather be allowed only weekly, hell, _monthly_, visits to see him to stay alive. Of course, though I'd never admit it, I cared more about seeing him than staying alive. I had sunk lower than I'd believed possible.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled away from the cover of the dense forest and walked slowly, calculatingly, to the front of the house.

When I stepped up to the door, I'd only begun to raise my fist to knock when suddenly the door was thrown wide open and Alice, grinning, revealed herself.

"Jacob!" she said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I uh- I'm here to see-"

"-Edward. Yes, I know! We sensed you on your way here."

I nodded silently. I bit my bottom lip nervously, waiting for her to invite me in or at least say something more. I almost hoped Alice wouldn't though, because though I was somewhat ready to face Edward, I definitely was not up to meeting the rest of his family.

Besides, Alice and I were not on good terms, especially considering the way I'd treated her those months ago at Bella's house.

"I'll just call Edward down for you," she said finally, still smiling.

"Thanks…" I was a bit confused as to why Alice was being so cheery. For all intents and purposes, she should hate my guts as much as I should hate hers. Instead of replying though, I simply nodded my head once again.

Alice disappeared behind the door. I realized she was only "calling" Edward as a formality. There was no doubt Edward, and indeed everyone else in the home, knew I was standing uncomfortably at their front door.

As I waited I shoved my hands into my pockets, a nervous habit. I couldn't help but shuffle my feet awkwardly. I was resisting the urge to pinch my nose. The smell was terrible, even with Edward's own mixing in. It only served to remind me how different we both were, as well as how much I didn't belong there.

What I had done, imprint on a vampire, was not only unheard of; it was impossible. It was at once exhilarating and frightening, having found that part of my life which completed my very being. It was so consuming, this love, so powerful, it left me stunned in poetic wonderment. But at the same time, it terrified me beyond belief. Because for me to have found a mate in a vampire was the equivalent to the proverbial wolf falling for the pig.

"I'd hardly consider myself the pig."

My head jerked up embarrassingly as Edward's melodious voice reached my ears and pierced through my quiet musings.

Seeing him again after so many long weeks apart, I realized memories did no justice to my imprint. He was even more enchanting than I remembered him to be, humiliating as it was to admit.

He wore a simple a gray jacket over a beige turtle neck and navy jeans. Despite his casual wear, I suddenly found myself feeling horribly inadequate in front of him in an old T-shirt and cut-off jean shorts.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Can we, uhm…talk?" He nodded his head and stepped through the doorway. As he brushed my shoulder walking past me, I couldn't stop the shiver that raced down my spine. I wanted to grab him, pin him against my body; I wanted to wrap myself around him and tell him use me; take from me whatever he wanted. These sudden, ridiculously subservient feelings shocked me, and I hastened to rid my mind of them.

Without him asking, I shut the door which he'd left open. Vampires have incredible hearing; if this meeting went to hell, I wanted as few people privy to my despair as possible.

I followed him to the edge of the trees, thinking he'd stop, but he didn't. He continued walking with me behind him, until the house was nothing more than a memory in the background. We walked for some minutes before he finally stopped and turned to face me, his face just as cold and impassive as always.

"Talk."

I was able to meet his eyes for only a few seconds before my instincts kicked in and found myself staring at the ground.

"I'm sorry." I wanted to be strong, to show him that just because he, my sworn enemy, had become the very essence of my life, I was still able to function, still be exactly the way I'd been before. But there was no mistaking the quiet remorse tainting my words.

"This…isn't easy," I continued, ignoring his snort of what I took to be impatience. "I-You haven't told anyone, have you?" We both knew I didn't mean just anyone.

"No," he replied, crossing his arms. "I haven't told Bella."

I winced as he said her name, though I wasn't sure why. "The tribe doesn't know yet," I looked up to gauge his reaction. "Well, they know I've imprinted, I couldn't hide that. But I…I haven't told anyone on who."

I heard him release an unnecessary sigh. "What do you want from me, Black?"

I watched as his nose twitched. He was lucky he didn't need to breathe; my smell must have been horrendous for him.

"Anything," I said quickly. "Everything…Nothing."

What _did_ I want from him? Hell, I'd take anything. A smile, a word, even a punch to the face. Anything.

"It isn't what I want from you. It's what _you_ want from _me._"

"I don't need _any_thing from you." I could tell he hadn't meant it as an insult. It was probably just a careless phrase. But it cut me. It broke something inside me, because this was it and I knew it. This was the rejection.

"I'm not rejecting you," he said quietly. "But I don't need you, Jacob. I have Bella. I have a family, friends, brothers. And I can take care of myself." He took a step toward me and I had to stop myself from walked those several strides to him and closing the gap between us. "What else, Black? What else can you give me?"

"I-"

I cut off, unsure what I'd meant to say. What _was_ there to say? He had love, he had family, he had care and protection. What else could I give him?

"I…I can't give you anything, Edward," I whispered, my voice cracking as his name tasted at once beautiful and agonizing on my lips. "There's nothing left to give because I've…You have it all," I broke the gaze again and stared at the ground, watching my foot make a deep divot into the dirt.

"You have all of me."

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**TBC**


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

Hi everyone, sorry for the disappointment, this is not an update unfortunately. I just wanted to clarify a few things before people begin getting the wrong idea concerning Of Forever.

While the first few parts are, I'll admit, on the angsty side, I just want to assure those of you who, like me, absolutely abhor angst that this fic will eventually get very, very, teeth-rottingly fluffy.

The reason Edward is such an asshole in the beginning is because I want to stay somewhat true to his character. While many people probably want to see Edward fall to his knees in happiness at the prospect of Jacob imprinting on him, the truth of the matter is that I just don't believe he would do that. Lord knows, I _love_ those fics, because in my mind, the fluffier the story, the better.

But what I wanted was to provide fans of Jakeward an opportunity to read the two develop their feelings and _then _have them fluffy and happy and accepting towards each other. I don't believe a story can reach its full potential if there is no effective buildup, because if there isn't, then the resolution is a bit anticlimactic, isn't it?

Anyway, that's just my little A/N for those of you who are getting a little nervous about the direction this is going. I can assure all of you, those who like a little (or maybe a lot of) angst/drama and also those of you who want fluff and smut that the two ends will eventually meet.

As an author, my personal axiom is such (and I follow it religiously):

The ending is always happy. If something doesn't end well, then it's not the end.

In other words, fear not, readers: Jacob will not drown in a pit of never-ending angst forever.

**Also, **being a little shameless here, I just want to inform y'all that there is full artwork for each part of the fic and a soundtrack to it as well. Both will be posted on my Livejournal page (you can get to it from my profile page).

**The NC-17 version of the fic will also be **_**only**_ **posted on my Livejournal page**. What will be posted here will be the edited version only.

-Folkin // Sleepybard


	4. Part III

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Masterpost  
**Author: Sleepybard**  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome** Bovus_stercus ** for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

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**This is one of my personal favorite parts (pic as well). Hope everyone enjoys it!**

Part III

What I was doing to us was selfish and I knew it.

I knew I was being unfair. I knew I'd screwed up our lives. I'd ruined mine, breached his, and God help me if Bella ever found out, because this would crush hers.

The irony was that _this_, this imprinting, was supposed to be the greatest joy a wolf would come to know. And yet here I was, on the verge of death because of it.

I hadn't spoken to Bella in weeks, not since I imprinted on her boyfriend.

There was some part of me that felt ashamed of this. I was lying to my best friend by not telling her. I was ruining her relationship with Edward by forcing him to lie to her as well, though I knew there were countless other things he had yet to divulge to her yet.

This was a cruel game we played, crueler than Bella toying with both Edward's and my heart. Because back then, I would have survived it. I _did_ survive it. Having her choose him over me didn't kill me. Stung like a slap to the face, but it couldn't kill me, couldn't cause the great chasm that had opened up in my soul.

But Edward….

His rejection was slowly seeping the life from me.

A month passed following our meeting in the woods, and I had yet to see him again.

When we had talked then, we hadn't really figured out a new plan. I'd told him I still couldn't tell the pack and he'd agreed that he couldn't – and wouldn't – tell Bella. At least not yet.

Before we'd parted ways, I asked him again what I could give him, what I could be for him.

"Time," he'd said, his back to me as he looked back at me over one shoulder. "Just give me time."

And so I did.

Unsure whether I'd see him again, though I had to hope I would, I carried on with my life for weeks the way I had before we'd met in the forest.

It was hard, faking the motions each day. When I was phased, I knew my packmates could feel the void in my heart. I couldn't hide it from them, no matter how I tried. I managed to keep my despondency controlled, but there was nothing I could do to hide it completely.

As time withered away, and days turned to weeks and weeks to months, my life too deteriorated. I often wondered at night how it was I was still alive. I should have died after the first month went by without my imprint and yet here I was, 3 months later, still alive. Maybe not kicking, but alive.

Everyone worried. I lost count each day how many times people asked me what was wrong, where my imprint was, _who_ my imprint was. And though I had the answers, I couldn't very well tell them.

I no longer felt sad or desperate. I was just empty.

***

About 4 months after I last saw Edward, my dad sent me to town to pick up some groceries. I knew it was just an excuse to get me out of the house, thinking some fresh air would do me some good. I also knew it was useless though.

I was standing in the middle of the store and packing up some carrots in a bag, a basket of tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and other vegetables in a basket. I wasn't bothered so much by what I picked up. Just some of the usual vegetables we usually ate and some milk and eggs, that was all I'd planned to pick up.

As I was leaving the aisle though, I sensed it.

Over the past few months, my wolf senses, normally so sharp and sensitive, had dulled. I was all but useless on patrol but Sam kept me with another packmate to help me feel like still a part of the pack. Regardless, there was no denying my senses had weakened alarmingly.

So when I felt the hair on my neck raise and a shiver run down my spine, I was shocked to feel more than just apathy for the first time in weeks.

I looked around, searching for the source of my sudden alert. And I saw her.

Bella must have seen me too, because in that exact moment, our eyes met and a glaring smile split her face.

"Jake!" she called out. I wanted to run or hide, turn away from her smiling face and crawl into my bed to try to ease the sudden throbbing of my heart. I hadn't felt anything at all, no pain, no sadness, no regret, nothing, for so long. Damn Bella for making me feel something again, especially this bitterness that suddenly welled in my gut.

"Jake! It's been so long! You haven't been answering any of my calls and Billy always says you're sick or out of the house when I come over," her face lost its smile and instead adopted a look of worry. "Is something wrong?" She lowered her voice to a whisper, "Is it the pack?"

I shook my head. I knew I should I give her something more reassuring than a simple head shake, but I didn't know what else to do.

"How-" I broke off to clear my throat, almost surprised by how sore it sounded even to my own ears. "How've you been, Bella?"

Her frown deepened. "Jake, something's happened, don't lie to me." She put her hand on my chest, the weight of her palm a foreign feeling. I looked down for a moment, thinking to subtly brush her hand away, but I froze as I caught sight of her wrist.

There, just below her thumb and clearly wrapping to her palm, were the unmistakable scars of a vampire bite. _Edward's_, my torturous mind supplied. In the back of my mind, I knew Bella had told me what had happened when she received the bite, but in that moment, I lost it. I couldn't think clearly, couldn't think at all, and certainly wasn't bothered to think about the impact of my actions.

I was angry. Angrier than I'd been for months. I felt my vision go red, my muscles bunching and I knew I was about to phase. I didn't stop to think why I was suddenly so furious, but I did know that phasing in the middle of a grocery store would not be a good idea.

With more force than I meant to use, I shoved Bella. Clumsy as she was, she stumbled and landed on her back, looking at me in shock.

"Jac-"

"Don't," I said, my voice low and barely hiding the rage welling inside me. "Don't Bella." I dropped the basket, aware that people around us were staring, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

"Don't come to the reservation anymore Bella. Just-" I stepped away from her, knowing there was a look of pure loathing and hatred sullying my face, "just don't come near _me_. Stay away from me Bella."

"But Jacob-"

Anything she said after that was lost to my ears as I turned and all but ran out of the store. I went inside my car, slamming the door much harder than I needed to. I was shaking, my blood felt as though there was fire racing through my veins. My skin was too tight, too hot, just too _much_ and I needed to run and scream and phase and tear something apart; fuck I just needed-

I started the car and drove faster than was safe or smart down the street. My hands clenched the wheel in a death grip, my breathing ragged.

I felt ready to phase and though this scared me, what scared me more was that at the same time it felt different. Different in that normally when I phased, it was effortless. There was no pain, just blinding anger urging me to let loose. Now though…

I needed to find somewhere I could run. As I left the town and found myself surrounded by trees on either side of me, I pulled my car to the side of the road and stopped. I got out of the car so fast it was as though I had hellfire on my trail.

I ran into the woods, kicking off my ratty sneakers and desperately removing my jeans as I ran. I couldn't be bothered to remove my shirt, meaning it'd just have to get ripped. I was beyond caring.

I had never felt so much pain in my life than I did the moment I leapt and phased midair.

It was blinding. The pain so consuming; my muscles, my bones, my joints, the very blood in my veins, all screamed in agony. After I phased, I was unable to even land properly.

I fell to the unforgiving forest floor hard, with a thud that shook the trees and the ground. Rocks and stiff branches pressed into my sides and already I imagined I could feel the cool trickle of blood sliding tremulously from the wounds. But I lay there limp and desperately trying to remain immobile, because the pain was still so intense.

I opened my mouth and released an earsplitting howl that died down to a pathetic whimper. I needed to phase back, that much I knew, but I couldn't. Even in my wolf form, tears slipped from the corners of my eyes.

What was wrong with me? Phasing had never been painful, _never_. There was no explanation for this agony, none at all. And the pain was still so intense, I couldn't even worry or feel frightened because all my energy was spent trying to alleviate the pain.

I'll never know just how long I lay there, limp and whimpering. In my mind, such the way time often feels too long when in the throes of discomfort, it felt an eternity.

I was sure this was it, this was my end. My own body, by imprinting and now this, had betrayed me. I could think of no reason why the ancient spirits thought to punish me so, but if this was their will…

Day turned to twilight, a shifter's weakest time. Something about the in between of the day and night, the sun hanging in limbo between rising and setting, mitigated our prowess in the woods.

But as I felt the nature of woods transition into the twinkling panorama of twilight, the pain in my body finally began to subside, though it was by no means any more bearable than before.

Over the night owls' coos and the sounds of the forest floor, I heard the sound of a twig snap. In the gloom of night, the sound was deafening.

It was then the undeniable scent of my imprint invaded my senses.

How cruel yet benevolent my heart was, allowing me one final sense of my imprint before I died.

The ground was a bitter cold slate against my back. Despite my thick fur, I lay there shivering.

"What have you done to yourself, Black?" I heard.

My heart raced as I recognized the voice. No, there was no way. Not only was my heart torturing me, but now my mind was playing tricks as well.

However, there was no mistaking the sound of footsteps close by. After a moment, Edward's presence was undeniably prevalent. I opened my eyes, which I'd had clench closed, and there, a mere few feet away, stood Edward.

I could barely make out more than his silhouette in the dark of the night. A pale glow from the waning moon above offered a bit of light, but the canopy of dense trees hindered any true visibility.

I watched silently as he walked closer to me. A break in the trees above allowed the moonlight to peek through, haloing his form. _My own angel_…

"Not quite an angel," he said. I wanted to be embarrassed by my thoughts, all of which he'd been privy to. The relief, the joy, of seeing Edward after so long was too great though.

"Bla—ack," he all but groaned. I closed my eyes again, trying to block out the image of irritation on his face.

What must he think of me? So weak I lay in the middle of the forest lying on the ground, whimpering and unable to move. It was a good thing he hadn't asked me to be his guardian, as I'd probably have gotten us both killed.

"Black, stop it," he said. I could tell he was trying to mask the anger in felt, but I still caught it. I wanted to shrink into the ground. How could I let my imprint see me so weak?

"You're not weak!" he ground out. I felt more than say him kneel in front me. "And I'm not angry."

_Liar._

"I'm not angry at _you_," he clarified. "I'm just…I…You couldn't understand Bla-Jacob." My name from his lips sounded beautiful, and I basked in the glow of happiness for a moment, finally distracted from the pain still charging through my limbs.

I heard him sigh. I opened my eyes only to see him leaning almost unbearably close, though we remained not touching.

Suddenly, he placed his frigid palm onto my shoulder. My reaction was instant.

I gasped, though the sound was like another pitiful whine coming from my wolf form. The moment he touched me, the pain instantly faded, as though it hadn't even been there to begin with.

I was completely, inexplicably relieved. So relieved, without thinking I phased back.

I didn't care that I was naked. I didn't care that I was lying in dirt and God only knows what else. I was just so _happy_, so thankful that the pain was gone.

I didn't realize I was crying until Edward leaned down and pulled me up, wrapping his arms around me in a protective embrace. His skin was cold but I paid no mind to it; if anything it felt good against my feverish skin.

As he cradled my head on his shoulder, I couldn't stop the wracking sobs that suddenly took hold of me. I clung to him, tightly enough that were he anyone else, I'd have crushed them with my strength.

The tears burned my eyes. Where Edward's clothes brushed inadvertently against my wounds my skin stung. My chest felt heavy, too tight, like I couldn't get enough air to breathe. I was panicking and thinking about how I'd almost died, how I'd _accepted_ I was going to die. I was scared and cold and shaking and the woods were closing in around me and God I just couldn't-

"Shhh, Jacob," Edward whispered in my ear, "just breathe…That's it, breathe, it's okay."

I was a mess, crying so hard against his shoulder but there was nothing else I could do. Faintly, I thought of how this was the first, and would most likely be the last, time I'd ever be this close to him again.

This thought made me cling even more tightly to his form, not wanting to ever let go for fear I'd never see him again.

I was thinking irrationally and I knew it. Why Edward hadn't left yet was a mystery to me, but one I wasn't keen on thinking about, not yet at least.

He rocked me back and forth. It must have been hours, that we sat together like that, me sobbing and Edward simply holding me, occasionally murmuring words of comfort.

As my cries finally began to die down, I buried my face into his neck and inhaled deeply. His scent, it was intoxicating. I felt stronger just from a single whiff of it. Eventually, I lay limp in his arms. He didn't pull or push me away and for that I was grateful.

"Jacob."

Of course then I knew I had used up all my time. I pulled away and didn't look at him, opting instead to leave the safety of his arms completely. I crawled a few feet away from him and sat crouched, my back to him so he couldn't see the same on my face or the horror that was Jacob Black.

"Stop thinking like that!" he said fiercely. My shoulders slumped. I couldn't please my imprint at all.

"Just-just _stop_ Jacob! I don't need you to please me." I sensed him stand up. "Come on, get up Jacob. You need to get back home."

I didn't miss that he said '_you_' and not '_we._' It shouldn't have hurt but it did. Bitterly, I pushed those feelings away.

"…No clothes…" I rasped out, my voice hoarse. He sighed. Shrugging out of the light jacket he wore, he wrapped it around my shoulders before quickly pulling away.

"I picked up your clothes and left them by your car. You can put those back on." As I stood, I tried desperately not to sink my nose into the fabric of his jacket and inhale his aroma. It was a struggling battle.

He walked in front as I followed. My feet stung, walking on sharp rocks and stumbling over jutting tree roots. I knew I could have phased into my wolf form, but I was weary of phasing again after what had happened.

When we finally made it back to my car, Edward stood a ways off, averting his eyes, as I quickly donned my jeans. I couldn't find my shirt until I remembered I'd shred it phasing. Nevertheless, I was thankful to at least have my pants and shoes again.

When I finished changing, Edward turned around. It was dark, almost too dark to see him, but the moon cast an eerie glow on his face, making him look ethereal, his perfection and statuesque beauty too much to try to convey in words.

We hadn't spoken at all on our trek to my car and I was reluctant to say anything now, but I had to know. "How did you find me?"

Though I couldn't see it, I imagined his narrowed eyes as he replied, "Bella. She came back to my house after meeting you in the store and told me what happened," he paused. "I…She wanted to make sure you were okay. I was the lucky volunteer to find you."

_You should have let me die._

Even in the pitch black of night, I watched as his face darkened, marred by the scowl his lips formed. Before he could say anything, I hastily said, "Thank you."

"Black-"

"I should go," I cut him off. He stared at me for a moment before nodding. I turned away from him after a minute and got into my car. The keys were still in the ignition. I started the car.

I looked into the rearview mirror. Edward remained standing where he had the whole time, probably waiting for me to drive away. A second later, where he stood was empty space as he sped away, leaving me in my car on the road by myself.

Once again, I was alone.

**TBC**

* * *

See my profile for the artwork that accompanies the fic. Art is located on my Livejournal page (homepage in my profile).


	5. Part IV

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Masterpost  
**Author: Sleepybard**  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome** Bovus_stercus ** for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

* * *

Part IV

Though I was surrounded by so many people, I had never in my life felt as alone as I did since imprinting. When your world is comprised of one person and one person only, not having him in your life is an empty, hollow existence.

No one in the tribe suspected anything about Edward. I was doing a phenomenal job of keeping him out my thoughts when phased. On the rare occasions his face flitted through my mind, I quickly covered it up with thoughts of how I wanted to kill him. Leah and some of the others always acted disgusted by my obsession with him, which they still ascribed as stemming from my obsession with Bella. Little did they know.

Two months passed since I saw Edward in the woods, or rather, since he saved me in the woods. Every waking moment I wasn't phased was spent wondering when I'd see him again, if I _could_ see him again.

I was plagued at night by horrible terrors. Thoughts of the other shifters learning my secret and tearing me apart, or worse, tearing Edward apart, were frequent nightmares.

One night I dreamed Edward asked me to stay away from him forever. Bella stood beside him, looking sympathetic though she made no move to help me. He asked me if I could do that for him and I said yes, "I'd do anything for you."

The dream shifted until I suddenly saw myself standing at the edge of the cliff where Sam, Paul, Embry, Quil and I often go cliff diving. For some reason, I looked behind me and there was Edward, perfect as always. He was smiling and nodding, as though giving me approval to go ahead. In my mind I had no idea what it was I supposed to do, but my dream-self did. I turned around and tilted my head up.

I didn't dive like usual. I stepped over the edge, falling to my doom.

But I woke up before I hit the water.

I couldn't help but wonder if that dream had been some sort of premonition, because the next day, Bella visited me.

Dad was out of the house, leaving me alone to watch crappy sitcom reruns. When I heard someone knock on the door, I absentmindedly called out, "Come in, it's open."

I heard footsteps over the sound of the TV. When I turned around, I froze.

"Jake." Bella's eyes were rimmed red, her face blotchy with still fresh tear tracks. "Jake," she repeated, before crumpling to the ground.

Instantly, I was at her side, holding her to me and rocking her, trying to give her comfort much the way Edward had given to me months ago.

"What is it? What's wrong Bella?" She continued to sob, clutching my shirt as she stained it with her tears. It was then I began to fear the worst. Something must have happened to Edward. My heart constricted painfully from that thought, but there was no way I could inquire of him without arousing her suspicion.

After a few minutes, her sobs died down and she pulled away, wiping her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"I'm sorry," she choked out. "I…There was no one else I could think to go to."

"What happened?" I asked her as I helped her stand.

I had told her in the store not to come here, to the tribe, to my house, anywhere near me, again. But I was glad, for once, that she had ignored me because I had a strong feeling whatever was wrong involved Edward somehow. And as much as it killed me, Bella was my only source of information concerning my imprint.

She walked into the living room and sat on the couch. I switched off the television before sitting down and turning to her.

She was staring at her hands, her fingers clenched tightly in her lap. Finally, she looked up.

"Do you remember when I went to Italy to bring Edward back?" _Of course I remember_, I thought to myself bitterly. _How could I forget?_

Instead of replying, I nodded my head, urging her to continue.

"While we were there, Edward and I had to bargain for his life. The Volturi, vampire royalty you could call them, told us Edward had to turn me into a vampire within a year. Otherwise, they'd come and-"she stopped, staring at me. She didn't have to continue; I knew what they would do.

My hands clenched into fists but I didn't say anything. Taking that as a tacit signal, she went on.

"He only has 4 months left Jacob. Four months until the year is up." Her breath hitched but I didn't know what to say.

At one point, I know I would have raged, screamed, pleaded her to not do this. Had I still loved Bella, I would be on my knees at the moment like a pathetic lovesick dog begging her to choose me, to choose _life,_ over death to spend eternity with Edward.

But as it were, my heart died a bit more in that moment. Because I wasn't go to fight for Bella. No, inside, I was fighting _against_ Bella. And that thought made me sick.

"They came early," she continued, her eyes watering. "Said they were worried Edward was trying to back out of the agreement. So they-" This time a tear escaped as she stopped. I had a feeling I knew what had happened, and I felt my heart suddenly race as I waited to hear her say it.

"They took Edward back to Italy. They said I only had until the end of the week to be turned before they killed him." By the end, she was sobbing once more. I wanted to comfort her but I didn't know if I could. I didn't know if I was strong enough to sit beside the woman who was responsible for toying with my emotions for so long. I didn't know if I was strong enough to look at her and forgive her for choosing Edward over me and then running back to me when she needed something. But mostly, I didn't know if I was strong enough to face her, knowing no matter what I did, she would always have the one thing in the world that mattered most to me.

"Bella," I spoke after a moment. I kept my face impassive, trying not to reveal any of what I was feeling. "Why did you come to me? Why not ask any of the Cullens for help?"

She stared at me for a strained moment before finally answering, "Because Edward told me to."


	6. Part V

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Masterpost  
**Author: Sleepybard**  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome** Bovus_stercus ** for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

* * *

Part V

It was dusk. The last embers of twilight faded to grey and with them, my heart felt like it was fading too.

Bella had left, promising to return the next day. I'd told her Billy would be home soon and that I'd call her later tonight.

But later tonight was here and I was standing in front of my bedroom window, looking out as the sun's dying rays cast a withering glow on the forest beside my house. I made no move to pick up the phone and call her. I didn't even want to think about it.

I had an obligation to help. Not her, but Edward. He was in trouble and as his guardian, though he hadn't actually designated me as such, I was supposed to help him no matter what.

Inside, I knew I would give anything, even my own life, to save his. I wanted to be bitter. I wanted to be callous and uncaring and unperturbed by his disappearance, but how could I be? He was my life and if he died, so would I.

I wanted to hate Bella but I couldn't even manage that. Not so long ago, _I'd_ loved Bella too, though now I couldn't remember why, as my heart and soul was completely consumed by Edward. Whatever the reasons were, I was sure they were the same reasons Edward loved her still.

It was tearing me up inside. I knew what I had to do, I knew what I was going to do, I knew how I should be feeling, but they weren't all the same. How could Edward, after everything that had happened in the past 6 months, put me through this? How could he be so selfish?

The answer I suppose was simple enough, though painful.

It was because I was Jacob Black. Because I was the shifter who went and imprinted on a vampire. Because I was the fool in love with a leech, in love with someone else's fiancé. Because I was pathetic and lonely and desperate.

And he knew I'd help him.

The Volturi were not what I expected.

The moment Bella and I had stepped foot within their sanctuary, I felt the heated, predatory gaze of every vampire we encountered on us. I couldn't tell if they were staring at Bella because she was human, or if they were staring at me because I was a shifter. Both, most likely.

It was unnerving, to say the least.

One of the guards who apparently recognized Bella from the last time she'd been here led us down winding, twisting tunnels. I was hopelessly lost after the fifth turn, which was most likely his intention. Finally, we stopped in front of a towering door. I had to crane my neck back just to see the top, but before I could comment, I heard the soft voice of a female fill the chamber.

"So you've come." I whipped my head around and stared at the beautiful, innocent face of a female vampire. With her blonde hair and red eyes, she instantly raised the hair on the back of my neck.

"Jane."

"Bella," she mimicked.

"I'm here for Edward," Bella said, her voice unwavering. I stared at her, watching as her gaze hardened.

"You haven't held up your end of the bargain." Her voice was soft but menacing. Suddenly, her eyes met mine. "Who's this?"

"No one," Bella quickly said before I could reply.

"'No one' smells like," she wrinkled her nose in distaste, "dog. Wet, stinking dog." She paused before grinning, her lips quirking upward in a horrible rendition of a smile. "You've brought us a shifter."

The way she said it, it was as though the word were the most foul thing to ever grace her lips. I sneered at her, ready to phase and rip her apart at that moment. Suddenly, Bella's warm hand was on my arm.

"Calm down Jake." I scowled but made no other move.

Bella turned back to Jane, asking, "Where's Edward? If you've hurt him—"

"Your sweet Edward is inside, alive and kicking…Well, you know what I mean," she giggled. I grabbed Bella by the shoulders before she could attack the vampire. Jane didn't hesitate to goad Bella with another grin before turning to the door and opening it.

The moment it opened, my eyes widened at the sight before me.

Edward lay, sprawled and unmoving, at the feet of three leeches, all of whom wore looks of utter boredom on their faces. There was blood surrounding Edward, though I had no idea whose. At the smell of the copper tint in the air, I nearly phased then.

As it were, before I could do anything, Bella rushed past me and fell to her knees by Edward, grasping him in her embrace.

"Oh God, Edward, please, _please!_" Her shrieks cured me of my stupor. It took every ounce of control I had not to rush in there and push her away and grab Edward myself.

"I had a feeling you'd come back to us." I looked up to see who'd spoken. "I had no _idea_ you'd bring us a present," he said almost gleefully, looking at me. "Who might you be?"

"Jacob Black," I growled.

"My, my, such a temper," he paused, "though that would be expected from-" he suddenly frowned, "-a shifter."

The one who'd spoken stood from the chair he'd been in and walked down toward Bella, though he stayed some feet away. "Bella, Bella, Bella. You brought a _shifter_ here? Now why would you do that?"

"What did you do to Edward?" Bella asked instead, ignoring his question. I watched as he rolled his eyes in mock irritation.

"I haven't done anything to your chiseled, honey-eyed lover. But back to my previous question." He stepped around Bella and Edward, walking toward me. He stopped a hand's reach away.

"Did you really think a shifter would help you, Bella? He may be strong with his pack, but alone and in the presence of vampire royalty? No, no, I'm afraid he's far outnumbered here." He stared at me with piercing red eyes. There was an air of carefree abandon about him that set me on edge. He was, to me, dangerous because he was unpredictable.

"Aro," he said, reaching out his hand in a welcoming gesture of a handshake.

"JAKE, NO!" Bella screamed, but before anyone could stop me, I took his hand in mine.

For a moment, I marveled at the contrast between his pale palm and my tan one, his dwarfed within my much larger hand, before my vision went black.

A feeling of deep longing, of an ache so profound in its nature, crippled me as I fell to the ground. I had no idea what happened or how long it lasted, but it seemed to never end, the crippling feeling of unrequited affection.

I didn't realize I had closed my eyes tightly until I opened them, only to find myself kneeling before Aro with my hand still gripping his. He looked at me, shocked, before pulling away.

"Well, that was-"

"What did you do to him?!" Bella screamed. I tried to look her way, to tell her I was fine, but my vision swam for a moment. I almost pitched forward and almost landed on my face, but at the last second I reached out with my hands and stopped myself from kissing the ground. I groaned in pain, holding my head in my hands.

"Jake! Jake, say something!"

"Quiet!" Aro barked. As the feeling of vertigo finally subsided, I raised my head to look at the old vampire.

"Wha-?"

"Every thought you've had in your short life is now," he pointed to his head, "in my mind." He clasped his fingers in front of his chest as I stood up. "And my oh my, dear Bella, has this one a secret to tell."

I froze as what he said registered. "You-You know?" I stammered.

He nodded. Before he could say anything, a groan sounded from where Bella sat.

My head jerked to her position. I watched silently as Edward groaned and began to sit up. "Edward, Edward I'm here," Bella said, wrapping her arms around Edward and helping him sit up.

He clutched his hand to head, running his fingers through his hair tiredly. There was blood on his hand.

"Sleeping beauty awakes," Aro said gleefully, sitting back down in his seat.

"Vampires can't sleep!" Bella said forcefully. "What did you do to him?!" she demanded angrily.

"Shh, Bella, it's alright." My head snapped back to Edward. With difficulty, he stood and leaned on Bella for support. He glanced in my direction and nodded once. "Black."

I didn't reply, because there was nothing adequate I could think of to say to him.

"Edward, what _happened_?" Bella asked again. Before Edward answered, one of the other vampires sitting beside Aro spoke.

"A simple trance held by Villius. Quite an extraordinary power he has." As Edward turned to face the three ancient vampires sitting before us, I saw he was covered in blood. Bella saw too.

"Edward…Whose…?"

"It isn't mine," he said quietly.

"Well of course it isn't the vampire's blood!" Aro exclaimed. "But a vampire must eat sometime."

My heart stopped for a moment as I realized what he was saying.

"Tell me you didn't," Bella said, turning Edward to face her. "Tell me you _didn't!_" I winced at the accusatory tone in her voice. I watched Edward avert his eyes, unable to meet her gaze.

"I couldn't…I couldn't help myself," he said, he voice broken with regret. I closed my eyes for a moment, picturing the hysterical screams of the poor soul whose life had been sacrificed for Edward.

"Well, as touching as this all is, really, we have more pressing matters to attend to," Aro interjected before any of us could reply.

Bella stepped around Edward and faced Aro. Though I couldn't see her face, I knew she must have had a stubborn, steely look in her eyes.

"Edward will turn me."

"Bella-"

"I'm afraid it's too late," Aro said.

"You said we had a year!"

"Yes, and then we said you had a week."

"The week isn't over!"

Aro narrowed his eyes before speaking calmly. "Months have passed and you have yet to even show you'd been discussing your turning. I'm afraid, since you've failed to uphold your side of the deal, we are disinclined to uphold ours. Therefore, Edward's life is forfeit."

"But you can't-"

"Bella," Edward interrupted. Bella turned to look at him, and I saw her eyes were swimming with unshed tears.

"I won't let you die!"

"I'm sorry Bella, but there's no other way," he looked grief stricken for a moment before continuing. "Besides, it's my fault. I was the one who kept putting it off." He took a deep, unnecessary breath. "Just know that-"

"Wait." I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't stand there, listening to Edward tell Bella how much loved her. But most importantly, I couldn't stand there and watch as Edward gave up his life.

Everyone's gaze was abruptly back on me, the silent spectator who had hardly spoken since Aro had performed his gift on me.

I ignored everyone's questioning look, instead stared defiantly into Aro's eyes.

"Take my life instead," I said calmly. I watched Aro's lips rise into a slow, devious smile.

"Why?" he asked.

"A life for a life," I answered. "Take my life instead-"

"You were never part of this bargain," the other vampire who had spoken before interrupted.

"Now Marcus, let the boy speak," Aro said, silencing him.

I gritted my teeth, my hands a pair of fists at my sides. My instincts, though dull, were itching for me to phase and rip everyone apart.

"I'll die in his place."

"Jake, don't!"

"Shutup Bella," I hissed. I wasn't specifically angered by her, but by the entire situation. Either way, I couldn't stop myself from snapping at her.

"Marcus is correct though. You were never part of this bargain. And you see, Edward has done some things that warrant his immediate disposal."

"You'd gain a lot more by killing me," I said.

What the fuck was I saying? I was asking these vampires to kill me.

I was asking to _die_.

Aro quirked a thin eyebrow questioningly. I went on, explaining, "One less shifter in the world to hunt you if you kill me instead of Edward. Besides," I added, "you can always turn Bella later."

"Black! _Shutup! _This isn't what I want!" I snapped my head to Edward, his eyes searching mine as though asking me silently if I was seriously offering myself like this.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. I had, in essence, now accepted my decision. Admitting such made it much easier to look him in the eye as I said, "It's the only thing I can do for you."

I walked toward him and Bella but stopped a few feet away. If I wanted, I could reach out with my arm right now and touch him, brush my warm fingers against his frigid form.

"You said it yourself. You have friends, family, love. You won't let me protect you. You won't let me comfort you. You won't even-" I choked, unable to say the last part. _You won't even let me love you._ "I can't live like this anymore. I can't just-"

I stepped away from him and looked back at Aro. "Please. Take me instead."

"Why, Jacob? _Why?!_"

I looked at Bella. There was no use in hiding it anymore. I kept my eyes firmly planted on Bella's face, not casting Edward a single glance as I finally admitted what had been making me suffer for months.

"Because Bella," I gave her a small, wry smile, "I imprinted on Edward."

* * *

TBC


	7. Part VI

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part VI  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome bovus_stercus for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

* * *

**Please read:** Oh shit guys, sorry! This part almost didn't get up because I'm such a total loser and forgot to post it /facepalm/ Please thank avari_maethor for reminding me. I'm so sorry! On that note, I'll probably lose some readers after this part because here is where it gets a little crazy. I don't want to spoil this fic, but I feel this should be said. This fic was not written with the intention of getting Bella out of the picture. This is not _Bella/Edward_ fic, it's Jakeward. While I'm shamelessly using Bella as a plot device, the fic from here on is centered on the relationship between Edward and Jacob. None of this probably makes sense right now, but it will after you read this part.

Please keep that all in mind. This is Jacob/Edward. As much as I hate Bella, she will not be in here more than she needs to be.

* * *

Part VI

After living 6 months seeing Edward only 3 times, I was sure there was no other possible hell. Going so long without my imprint was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and I was certain nothing could be worse.

I was wrong.

11 years passed.

They were 11 of the hardest, most miserable, despondent, bleak, and horrific years of my life. Every waking moment of the day, I prayed for the end to come. Every breath I took, I hoped it to be my last. My skin itched, my soul was raw, my mind was driven nearly mad by thoughts of Edward.

I went 11 years without seeing my imprint once. The only reason I knew he was even still walking the earth was because _I_ still was. Each night I lay awake wondering where he was, if he was still with Bella, if he'd turned her, if he was safe, happy, if he was even thinking about me the way I thought about him.

When I'd offered myself to Aro, to the Volturi, with the expectation that Edward and Bella would be allowed to live, I had no idea that what Aro would do to me would be worse than death itself.

Edward had taken Bella, who was kicking and screaming the entire time. I heard her screams even after the doors had been closed.

I remember the way Edward hadn't spared me even a glance. He'd just grabbed Bella and left. But really, what had I expected? For him to argue on my behalf? For him to save me? I wasn't naïve; Edward didn't love me, hell, he didn't even _like_ me. He was probably beyond relieved when I'd offered myself on a silver platter to the Volturi. He and Bella could live the perfect lifestyle. Bella would become a vampire and they'd move away from Forks to somewhere beautiful and secluded, make love every moment of the day and express their vows of love in every unnecessary breath they took.

I should have known he wouldn't give a damn about the stupid wolf who'd gone and imprinted on him, then sacrificed himself for his imprint.

I should have known.

They turned me.

Three days of the same, agonizing pain I'd endured those few months ago in the woods. Only this time, there was no Edward to stop it.

Of course it didn't turn out quite like they thought it would. But really, what did they think would happen? That they'd bite me and after 3 days I'd be Jacob Black, shifter-turned-vampire?

Sadly, no.

Shifters were not supposed to be vampires. We were not supposed to be bitten by them, let alone try to be turned _into _them. That much was apparent when I awoke after the third day.

My skin, once a dark, honey gold hue, had retained its tan, thankfully. But my veins protruded obscenely from my skin now, dark red against the brown. An interesting contrast for sure.

I was just as muscled as before but my strength seemed to have increased tenfold, as had my speed and hearing as well. And of course, there was the bloodlust.

It was that craving that was nearly my undoing.

We, the Volturi and I, learned early on I couldn't drink blood, at least, not just anyone's. Human or animal, it made me sick. My skin chipped, like fragile glass, if I ingested any of the red liquid, and it was beyond agonizing, feeling the cool trickle of it sliding down my throat.

It was a miserable, ironic life I led. A vampire who couldn't drink blood; that joke of the century.

It was Marcus who discovered the 'cure,' so to speak.

To this day, I haven't an idea how they were able to procure it, but one night, they give me a single drop of Edward's blood. That one drop was enough to sustain me for a month.

They explained to me details of the existence of vampires. I may have brought some gift from my human life with me, but if I did, it was still dormant. Aside from not needing a regular supply of blood to feed off, was a vampire in each sense of the word.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't stand in the sunlight. I couldn't bleed, unless fighting another vampire.

I nearly went mad. At times I was sure I would. The things the Volturi had me do…disgusting, vile, depraved things that would make anyone sick. And then the constant, torturous longing for my imprint that hadn't disappeared when they'd turned me; if anything, it had grown stronger.

The only thing that kept me sane those 11 years was my ability to shift. It proved that though they took away my old life, that couldn't take away the wolf that was inside. I was not Jacob, shifter-turned-vampire the way they'd hoped I'd be.

I was Jacob Black, shifter-_and_-vampire.

On what would have been my twenty-eighth birthday, I learned Bella had not been turned. Moreover, it was in part thanks to me.

The Volturi had never gone to check on Bella and the Cullens after I'd stayed in Volterra and Edward had left me behind. I suppose they were so fascinated by the marvel that was the vampire-shifter hybrid that they didn't really care anymore for Bella.

On the one hand, I was happy because I assumed it would mean Edward was happy. Then I had to question my own sanity, being happy for Edward being happy with someone who _wasn't_ me. Such is the life of an imprinted shifter, I suppose.

I never saw them after being turned. Though of course I inquired, asked the Volturi when I'd be able to go home and see my family, imprint, hell, even see Bella. Aro had laughed the first time I'd asked, a week after I'd been turned.

"You _can't_ go back, Jake. It would be to—ah, dangerous for you. Can't trust those shifters, can you?" he asked rhetorically, laughing. I growled at him, impatient and irritated.

"Those _shifters_ are my friends, my family!"

"_We're_ your family Jacob." He put his arm around me, squeezing my shoulder in a way that was meant to be comforting but only served to sicken me. "You belong with us now, Jacob. The Volturi will protect you, provide for you."

"Yeah? And in return, I have to what? Kill for you? Torture? Do something else equally vile for your sick games?"

"You seem to have a very skewed perception of us, Jacob Black." He pulled away and looked at me with the darkest of furies in his cold, red eyes. "You may be a vampire now, Jacob, but you will take care to remember that I or any of my brothers could easily crush you like a little, tiny rodent. You depend on _us_, not the other way around. Test our patience, and I can promise you, you will not be pleased with the consequences."

I shivered as he cast his eyes on me, scrutinizing me up and down in a way that instantly set me on edge. Suddenly, as though a switch had been flipped, he clapped his hands and smiled gleefully once more, as though he hadn't just threatened me. "Now, come along, there are some others who are eager to meet you!"

I never asked again to go home.

I wondered sometimes if I should have just run. What did I have to lose? I'd lost my family, my home, my life. What else could they take away from me, my existence?

And so what if they did? I was staring down eternity now. Anyone and everyone I'd ever know would be dead in a few decades, nothing more than a drop in the bucket of time if you looked at it objectively. So why _not_ just end it? The alternative was just as bleak as destruction.

But I know why I didn't. I know why I followed Aro and his brothers and obeyed every command they set at me. I know why I listened and lived, why I followed the Volturi's orders, no matter how much it disgusted me.

In my heart, unbeating, unloved, and broken as it was, I still held out hope. Hope that I would someday return to small town Forks; that I would someday see Edward Cullen again.

It was lucky none of the other vampires could read minds. They would have been affronted and disgusted by my pathetic thoughts. But they were what they were, and they were what kept me going.

I did find a friend though. Marcus, soft, quiet, mindful Marcus became the closest thing I could call to a friend in those 11 years I lived with the Volturi.

We talked at night. He told me of his gift, reading the bonds the connected people. I thought it a miraculous, beautiful thing, though I never told him such. He seemed to think it a curse.

After losing his mate so many years ago, Marcus was like me. Though my imprint, whom I had had to learn to refer to as my 'mate' once I'd been turned, was still alive, he was forever out of my reach. In a way, Marcus and I connected because we'd both lost the one who held our hearts.

It was always a humbling experience, talking with Marcus. Though I could sense the deeply held grief in him, his words of comfort never failed. We talked at night, down by the river at the edge of Volterra where no one would disturb us and no one could hear our private musings.

He was the support I needed because he was the only one who could understand the ache within me. He could sense my vapid soul with his gift and though I often wondered if I burdened him further with my own grief, he was always quick to assure me I didn't.

I learned more about Edward from him as well. He'd heard talk over his years of existence, talk of Carlisle and the Cullens and their lifestyle. He knew some things of Edward's life. Things that I may never have learned, Marcus discussed them freely.

I don't know if Aro knew of our nightly excursions. We tried to keep them as private as we could. It wasn't that we feared Aro putting a halt to them, it was simply nicer feeling that we were completely alone.

I told Marcus one night my plans to someday leave the Volturi. I expected him to tell me it would be impossible, that I wouldn't, _couldn't_, leave. But once again, he surprised me.

"I always knew, from that first moment I saw you in the chamber with Bella and Edward, you would find your way. I wish you luck, Jacob," he said, looking at me in a fatherly way that made me want to cry though I knew I couldn't. "I wish you the best of luck."

Luck indeed, was on my side.

It was the day of my twenty-eighth birthday. I wasn't sure why I bothered with my birthday anymore. It wasn't as though anyone really cared.

"Our human births," Aro had said once, "are irrelevant to us now. If we are to celebrate, then we celebrate our rebirths."

I didn't consider becoming a leech as rebirth, but I was smart enough to never say that to him.

I was sitting on the bed in my room. Though I couldn't sleep, I loved to lie on the bed and stare up at the ceiling and night, thinking about everything my life comprised of.

I was reading a book of poetry Marcus had given me from his personal collection. The tome was old, the spine frayed and nearly falling apart and whenever I opened it, the pages crinkled with a sound like dry leaves in autumn. It smelled of dust and ancient knowledge and I felt poetic just touching it.

The door opened, startling me. When I read, I often forget my surroundings, even with my enhanced senses. Aro is forever teasing me for it.

"You are needed in the main chamber," one of Aro's guards said. I looked up at him but he was already gone. I grumbled to myself silently. It was always like this; Aro beckoned and I had to come, like the dog I am.

In all the years I'd been with them, the Volturi had yet to truly break me. I rebelled in all the little ways I could. Thus, I took my sweet time arriving to the chamber.

When I finally stepped through the munificent doors, I immediately noticed the entire motley crew was assembled, including Jane, which was _never_ a good sign.

"Honestly Jake-ie, what is the point of vampiric speed if you're still as slow as molasses?" Jane taunted, before anyone else could speak, as I met her eyes momentarily.

"Fuck off."

"Now, now children, settle down," Aro said.

"You summoned?"

"Yes," Aro spoke as he stood from his seat and walked towards me. "There have been a some recent developments among our people that require our attention."

I didn't like what he said. I didn't like how he said it, but more importantly, I did not like what he said.

"Who?" I asked apprehensively.

"It isn't so much a question of _who_ as _where_."

My eyes narrowed. As I was about to reply, I cast a glance to behind Aro to Marcus. There was a look of barely contained anxiety on his face and instantly I knew.

"No," I said shortly. "I won't do it."

Aro put his hands on my shoulders. "Not up for debate, Jake."

I shoved him back hard, though he didn't so much as stumble.

"Find someone else Aro," I bared my teeth, my hands a pair of fists by my sides, "because I refuse to be the masochistic, suicidal puppet who kills his own mate for whatever _sick game_ you've concocted," I hissed angrily. I turned away, intent on stalking out of the there but Aro grabbed me and spun me around forcefully to face him.

"My dear Jacob, you misunderstand," he said. That infuriating smile was back on his face and for a second I found myself itching to smash my fist against his mouth. Jane laughed from somewhere behind me. As I turned to face her, she spoke, finally revealing the truth.

"You're not killing _Edward_, Jake-ie. You're killing _Bella_."

**TBC**


	8. Part VII

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part VI  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome bovus_stercus for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

**Please read:** Okay, so I can't even begin to apologize for the wait! I really am so sorry this part was so late coming. On top of that, it's a cliffhanger and on top of _that_ it's kinda short! I apologize sincerely :( All my classes and such are done though, which means much more time for my writing, if that appeases anyone (though I doubt it). Anyway, again, sorry for the late post!

* * *

Part VII

One thing I had come to regret was having never done drugs as a human. I'd never even so much as gotten drunk, because if I'd even thought about it, Sam would have torn me apart. And of course, it was impossible to sneak off the reservation for a few hours because the next time I phased, everyone would know of what I had done.

That was one thing I didn't miss. Though my body with the other shifters was one which brought me closeness to them in a way that couldn't be measured, it also destroyed any semblance of privacy.

Sometimes I wondered what it felt like for them, when I was bitten. Did they feel the pain of a dying brother, or was it less exact, a sudden loss of something they had come to cherish? The severing of such a complete must have been paralyzingly frightening, especially as they had no knowledge of where I'd been off to or what had happened.

Which brings me to wonder what happened when Bella and Edward returned to Forks. Did they go to the reservation and tell Sam, my friends, my dad, what had happened? And they did, how on earth did they survive the nearly tangible fury of a pack of wolf shifters?

Perhaps Edward had told them I'd imprinted on his. Aside for that, Sam and the other shifters would not have hesitated to kill him (Bella, no matter what, would have been safe, I was certain).

At times I still wanted to despise Edward but I couldn't. My inner wolf immediately beat down those feelings the moment the surfaced. I had a loyalty to Edward, no matter how unwanted by either party, and it was one perhaps even stronger than the one between myself and my packmates.

My love for Edward was a crippled affection. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but mine only grew heavy from longing. I was a pining, lovesick Juliet, yearning for Romeo. Worse yet though, I had already drunk the same poison as him, knowing that even in death, we would not be together.

Which was, in a nutshell, all my woes of misery culminated together. And it was in times like this in which I wished drugs and alcohol could be the salve for my never-ending wounds. Unfortunately, drugs had no affect on me now. And I'd been too cowardly to try them as a human.

How ironic though. Edward was like heroin itself; I was addicted and it was killing me.

I was living the life of a martyr and if ever there were time I wanted to drink my woes away, now was it.

I left Volterra and boarded a plane back to the States with a clear idea of how fucked up my situation was.

Kill Bella? It had to be a joke. I'd killed before, sure, but never someone I knew. The Volturi were cruel, but not like this.

Then again, as I remembered what they told me following the bombshell Jane had dropped, I guess I could understand their recipe of cruelty after all.

They didn't give me many details. No doubt, there was a good number of terrifying details that I'd have to discover and confront when I finally myself back in Forks. I knew one thing though: I was not going to like any of it.

The flight I caught took me to Washington and from there, I took a bus back to Forks. I packed only one bag, not expecting to stay long. Just long enough to figure out what the hell had happened and then leave. I had already decided that I couldn't kill Bella, and indeed, I wouldn't.

The bus wasn't packed at all. Only an elderly couple and a sleeping man in ragged, disheveled clothes were on the bus with me. It was evening, twilight again. Another sting of life's irony: Twilight was now my safest time.

As the bus stopped in town, I walked off the last step and inhaled the familiar scent of the town. Despite how long I'd been away, it was still like walking home after a long, terrible nightmare. It was July, the town warm despite the smell of rain in the air. For a moment, I wanted to explore the entire place, retouch and taste and inhale this small place again as though for the first time as my new self.

I hailed a cab and had him take me to the reservation. It was when I stepped outside the car after paying, though, that I realized just how much had changed in the eleven years I'd been away.

I walked the same paths I'd walked eleven years ago as a young shifter. I smelled the same scents, saw the same trees and the same homes.

But where there had once been a quiet, comfortable, beautiful atmosphere, I felt nothing but coldness.

When I found myself facing my old home again, standing awkwardly before the front door, I felt a shaky nervousness take hold.

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply once in hopes of calming myself. But how could I be calm? I was about to face my father for the first time in over a decade, after I left without so much as a note and never even a single phone call in all that time to say I was still alive.

And what could I say now? Was I supposed to knock on the door and go inside, as though I still belonged, as though I still _could_ belong? Would I see dad, sitting in the kitchen with his cup of coffee and aged book and say, "Dad, I'm home?"

I had come this far though. No matter if I was nervous, anxious, frightened, I had no choice. I had to do this. I _owed_ it to my father.

I knocked and received no answer. Going on a hunch, I lifted the eagle statue beside the front door and sure enough, there was the key.

I opened the door and walked inside. I noticed that nothing had changed, not really. Making my way into the kitchen, I braced myself. The moment of reckoning had come.


	9. Part VIII

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part VIII  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome bovus_stercus for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

**Please read:** Worst cliffhanger _ever_. Seriously, y'all are gonna hate me so much. So I won't get lynched though, I'll be posting the next part on Saturday, the 12th. I've been fiddling with the rest of story for a while and I'm fairly happy with where it is at this point, although no doubt I'll be making it cheesier as go along, lol. Bare with me?

* * *

Part VIII

Dad lay slumped on the couch, his wheelchair only a foot away from him. The old blanket mom made for him so many years ago was wrapped comfortably around him, his toes peeking out the end. He lay with his head to me so he didn't see me immediately, though I had a feeling he was asleep anyway.

I made my way tentatively to his side, my nimble feet making no noise on the usually creaky floorboards. I pushed the wheelchair slightly away and stared at my father first time in 11 years.

Time had not been kind to him and what semblance of a heart I had ached painfully within me as I realized I was probably the reason why. The wrinkles he'd once worn from laughs now bore wrinkles themselves; aged, tired, feeble lines that told 11 years of history within them. His eyes closed, his mouth open wide in a comical image of an old man asleep, I wanted to bend down and hold him, weep my regrets and pain and sorrys into his ear. I wanted to kiss his cheeks and feel the stubble of his beard brush against my cold lips. I wanted to see him smile, to welcome me home.

I stood staring at him for long minutes, comforted by the steady rise and fall of his chest, like a quiet metronome slowly ticking away. Seeing him breathe—it was as though I myself could breathe again, just knowing he was alive and _here_.

Finally, unable to stand the stillness any longer, I reached out a trembling hand and placed it gently on his shoulder.

"Dad," I whispered.

He jerked away from my hand and I immediately pulled it back, watching anxiously as he opened his eyes and stared at me.

His brown eyes, once so full of mirth despite his age, held a disturbed, haunted look now. His eyes narrowed, scrutinizing me before a look of utter disbelief colored his face.

"Ja—Jacob?" he asked, rolling my name from his mouth as though for the first time in years.

I couldn't say anything, too choked on the emotion welling inside of me, like a dam barely suppressing a raging torrent of emotion. I simply nodded before falling to my knees, though I made no move to touch him. I was aware of how I looked, the beastly mockery of a once Quileute boy.

"Yeah," I breathed out, "it's me."

I heard him release a sob first before I found myself suddenly enveloped in his embrace. It was everything I'd ever known wrapped in two arms of searing love. His hair tickled my frigid skin, his tears bled through my shirt, his shaking shoulders cried a song, and the only thing I could do was hug him back.

I was finally home.

* * *

Dad sat across from me in his wheelchair at the kitchen table. In one hand he held my palm over the table, in the other he cradled a steaming coffee cup, though he had yet to drink any of the piping liquid. He hadn't spoken yet since we sat down, and I was beginning to feel anxious for what he had to say. There was so much that needed to be explained—on both our parts—but for this moment I wanted to enjoy just seeing my father for the first time after so long.

Finally he smiled, his eyes seeming to tear again though he didn't cry.

"Jacob," he whispered hoarsely, his voice rough from disuse and the sobbing he'd done. "Jacob, my boy…I can't believe you're back."

I looked away, feeling so guilty my stomach churned. His hand tightened around mine. I stared at the clock on the wall. It was broken; the minute hand kept jerking back and forth and I realized with a sense of irony I was much the same way: wanting to move forward yet was held back.

I sighed though it was unneeded.

"How have you been?" I asked, finally looking at him again.

"The same," he answered, and I shot him a disbelieving look.

He laughed, the sound slightly strained, as though he hadn't done such a thing in a long time. "Not the same since before you left, of course. The same since afterward."

I nodded in understanding.

"Jake, what—what happened? You haven't…called or written in years. I thought," he broke off, his breath hitching, "we all thought you'd died."

I couldn't look at him as I spoke. "I—well, I did." I heard him gasp and closed my eyes. "Something happened and I had to help Bella. I went with her to Italy and-"

"I know," he interjected. His voice sounded gruff, laced with a tone of anger I almost didn't recognize.

"Did they—Edward and Bella…Did they—come back?"

"They did."

"And?"

He sighed. "They told the tribe what happened in Volterra."

"And what did they say about what happened?"

"The leech—" this time it was my turn for my hand to tighten, "_Edward_ came with Bella. They explained the deal they made with that-that Vampire royalty—"

"—The Volturi."

"Yes. They explained the deal they'd made, how you chose to sacrifice yourself for them in exchange for Edward's sparing."

There was something I needed to ask, something I needed to know, but I wasn't sure how to ask it without revealing anything should he not know. I suddenly realized it didn't matter anymore, though. There was nothing anyone could do about it, nothing they could do to make it change or make it go away. I had nothing else to lose and even if dad didn't know yet, he had the right to.

"Did Edward tell you why I did it?" I asked him softly. He didn't reply right away, and from his silence, I knew he knew.

"Why didn't you tell me Jacob? Why didn't you tell your own father who you'd imprinted on? I would have—"

"What? Supported me?" I gave a mirthless laugh, knowing I was being irrationally cruel to him as I saw the hurt in his eyes from my disbelief.

"_Yes_. I wouldn't have liked it, knowing _what_ he was—is. But I would have supported you."

"And Sam? The rest of the pack? Would they have supported me too?" His silence was all I needed to know. "That's why I didn't tell anyone. I expected to die from Edward's rejection anyway. I figured there was no point in bringing more pain to the tribe."

He released my hand harshly and slammed his fist onto the table, causing the coffee cup to shake and spill some of its contents.

"Damnit Jacob, and what you did was so much better? You left your family! Your tribe! Did you have _so_ little faith in us and your imprint that you thought death was the only answer?" he shouted. Beneath the anger, beneath the rage he was showing though, I knew, _I knew_, he was masking a deep sense of hurt and regret; feelings of despondency he had to live with for over a decade, suffering in silence without me.

Guilt welled up in my gut again, my own ire at him rising with it, but before I could say anything, he continued.

"Boy, I could throttle you right this moment for your idiocy. I'd kill you myself for your lack of trust. We were a _family_ Jacob. Did that not mean anything to you when you decided to go gallivanting off to save that girl's boyfriend? Did you even _think_ about what would happen afterwards? Did you?"

I abruptly stood up, the chair scraping like nails against a chalkboard against the ground as it tipped backward from the force of my movement.

"No, okay? I _didn't_ think about any of that!" I shouted back at him. There was shock painted on his face, and I knew I should stop right there, before our tempers got the best of us, but all I could think about was the pain and suffering I had to endure for so many years, away from my family, only to come back and have my own father question my feelings. My hands were a pair of fists at my sides as I went on.

"I didn't think about anything other than Edward. All I could care about was whether he would still be alive by the time Bella and I made it to him. All I could care about was what I was going to do to save him, keep him alive. I knew there was a high chance of me dying, okay? I knew it and I still went because what else could I have done?" I looked away, unable to stand the sudden shame on his face as he realized just how deep my imprint on Edward stretched.

I lowered my voice to a mere whisper, though I knew he could still hear me. "I was facing death either way. At least if I went to save him, I had a chance to see him one last time before that happened."

"Jacob—"

"Do you know that he never even told me what I could be for him?" I laughed, but there was no humor in it and the sound died away pathetically. "I lived more than half a year seeing my imprint less than a handful of times. I wasn't his friend, his brother, his lover. I wasn't anything to him. I was just a stupid mutt who found his lifemate in a leech; doomed to die for a guy who could hardly stand to even look at me."

I bent down and righted the chair before sitting down once again. My elbows on the table, I leaned over it and cradled my head in my hands.

We were silent for so long I wondered if I had inadvertently closed the conversation for the moment with my outburst. Finally, dad spoke up.

"Tell me what happened after they left you," he asked me.

So I did.

* * *

"Does that mean you have to go back?" He asked me after I finished. I hadn't told him everything, leaving out the dirty, gruesome parts of what I'd been forced to do out. Dad didn't need to know any of _that_.

I nodded. "Eventually, yeah."

"What do you have to do? What are they making you do here? Why send you back after so long Jacob?" he questioned, the curiosity evident in his voice. I hadn't told him the Volturi had sent me back to Forks to kill Bella, but I knew I'd have to.

"It's…complicated."

He laughed. "More complicated than anything else you've already told me?"

I rubbed my eyes, feeling weary. "Yeah. It's pretty out there."

"Jacob, tell me. Maybe I can help you," he said worriedly.

I sighed. "I have to kill Bella." Silence reigned following that bombshell. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but it wasn't what he said next.

"I don't understand."

I looked at him in disbelief. "What do you mean? What's there to not understand? I…have…to…_kill_…Bella."

"I heard what you said, Jacob," he looked at me pointedly. "I meant, I don't understand why they would send you to kill Bella."

"You and me both," I replied bitterly.

"No, I don't think you understand what _I_ mean. I don't understand why they would send you back here to kill Bella Swan, Jacob, because she's already dead."


	10. Part IX

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part IX  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome Bovus_Stercus for the beta-ing

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

**Please read:** Alright, a little more interaction between Jacob and his dad, sorry if it seems too slow, but the next few parts make up for it, promise :)

And as a bonus for everyone who has stuck with me since the beginning, I've created a soundtrack for the fic. The songs are the same ones I listen to when writing Of Forever, so listening to them while reading the fic will really bring out the mood :) They're all instrumental though, thought I should warn for that (piano songs, I mean). **The soundtrack can be found by following the link for my homepage on my profile page. **It will take you to my Livejournal community where the soundtrack is at.

* * *

Part IX

I didn't know what to think I stared at him in silence. _Dead?_ How was that even possible?

"You mean…Was she turned?" I wasn't sure whether I was surprised by that thought. It had been obvious Edward was going to turn Bella at some point. I ignored the sudden pain I felt at that thought. If she _was_ turned, then there was absolutely no hope for me…

"No," dad said uneasily. I waited for him to go on, knowing there was something he wasn't telling me.

He sighed, a shallow sound that was a testament to the weariness he was suffering. Rubbing his hand once over his eyes, he finally picked up the now cooled coffee cup and drank, some of the coffee spilling from the corner of his mouth before he wiped it off with the back of his hand.

"You have to understand, Jacob," he started once he put the cup down, "You'd been missing for almost three days when they came back. The only reason we knew you were even alive was because the shifters could still feel your presence, though even that was faint. When Bella came to the tribe with Edward in tow, we didn't know what to think. Paul almost didn't stop to do so; he almost tore Edward apart on the spot."

My fists clenched at my sides as that image played in my head.

"And then they told us what happened, that you'd sacrificed yourself. Of course, no one wanted to believe it. Actually, I'm sure no one _did_ believe it. Not until Edward told us you'd imprinted on him." I wasn't sure where this was going, since it was all as I'd suspected. But then dad's next words had me frozen in my seat.

"Seth took it the hardest. You know how he always idolized you. You were more his brother than anyone else and losing you so soon after losing his dad…it wasn't easy news for the boy. When Bella and Edward explained everything, I—He…" Dad stopped and for a moment, I could only imagine how this was going to end. And a part of me didn't even want to hear it.

"He moved before Sam or the others could stop him. There was nothing anyone could do Jacob, believe me," he said, looking at me pleadingly.

"What—" I stopped to clear my throat, feeling suffocated, "What did he do?"

"You know a wolf's bite is lethal to anyone, _everyone_. And he—he bit Bella."

Tears slid down dad's face but I didn't know who he cried for. For Seth, who in a moment of weakness had broken a sacred law of the land to never harm humans, or for Bella, who had been the victim of his attack. I wondered for a moment though whether he too still harbored resentment for Bella, knowing she was the reason I'd died essentially.

At that moment, I wanted to know what Edward did more than anything but I couldn't ask; I didn't have the courage to hear the truth just yet.

"Is he…?"

"No," dad quickly answered, "No, he was spared. He's been living in exile since then. I haven't seen the boy since he left."

"And Edward?" the words slipped like oil from my mouth before I could stop them. Dad stared at me for several long minutes before replying.

"Edward…nearly lost control. There was so much blood, he almost didn't make it. Paul held him back while Sam attempted to save her," he paused, giving me a moment to process everything. "When it was apparent nothing could be done, I suppose Paul must have loosened his grip or maybe Edward was just strong enough to break away. He took Bella, I suspect back to his home. No one dared follow him, not then at least. The land treaty had been breached, by both parties and we couldn't face the vampires yet, not when we were both grieving."

"And since then? What happened with the treaty?"

"The Cullens moved away for some years. They've only just come back 2 years ago, under new names of course, new professions, different background stories. But it's them."

"But the treaty, dad, what happened to the treaty?" I was getting impatient. Surely they wouldn't have done something too drastic. After all, the fault lay with _us_, not them as much as it hurt to admit it. _I_ was the one who'd willingly gotten myself killed, and not even in the same continent let alone the land the treaty applied to. And it was one of _ours _that had harmed a human.

"Nothing happened to the treaty. There was nothing either of us could do about it anyway since the details of all that happened were so convoluted," dad finally said. There was nothing more for him to say I suppose.

It all seemed too simple though. Heartbreaking, but simple. Bella was simply dead and the treaty was still effective? And the Cullens leaving only to come back? It seemed too simple to be real. And I hadn't even begun to sort through my feelings yet on how I felt about the news of Bella's death.

And then it hit me. Like someone dousing me with freezing water, the thought came and it suddenly all made sense.

"How long after Bella's death did they leave?" I asked suddenly.

Dad looked at me questioningly. "I'm not sure," he said, "several days maybe."

I stood before he said anything else. I walked around the table to him and bent down, kissing him on his cheeks before wrapping my arms around him in an awkwardly positioned hug. I let him go though before he could return it.

"I have to go," I said, pulling away.

He looked surprised and more than a little disappointed. "But you've only just got back! You need to meet with Sam and the others, tell them all what happened."

I shook my head. "I can't. It's better that I finish this once and for all and leave. You can tell them once I'm gone everything that happened to me. But I can't meet Sam or the other shifters. I can't stay here dad. I'm sorry."

The broken look on dad's face cracked the shattered pieces of my already unbeating heart as I said what I did, but I knew it was for the best. There was something I needed to do, something no one else could help me with. And afterward, after I found my answers and found closure, I would leave and never come back.

I told Aro back in Volterra that I wouldn't be the little puppet playing his sick games anymore, and I wouldn't be. I had lived, if it could even be called that, for eleven years catering to the depraved whims of those bastards who had taken so much from me. And here I was, finally back in my home, so close to my family, and the only thing I knew I could do was leave again.

After waiting so many long, pain-wrought years in that hell, wishing for nothing else than to just go home and curl up in my room or in the woods and run, I finally came back only to realize I would never again belong here. I was no longer just a wolf, and I wasn't a leech—not completely. After I finished what I was going to do, I knew I couldn't stay in Forks. But I wasn't going back to Italy either. I'd have to find some place new, but even that wouldn't matter. It would be only a matter of weeks before I became sick and withered away to dust without the blood of my imprint to sustain me. The only way to get that blood was from the Volturi or from Edward himself, and neither way would be possible after tonight.

I grabbed dad's hand in mine, the searing heat of his palm a beautiful contrast between my freezing one. He held my hand then between both of his and we shared a look of mutual regret before I finally tore myself away from him. It was painful, but I had to.

"Will I see you again?" he asked, but his voice held little hope he would.

I shook my head, stepping back. "Probably not," I answered. More tears appeared on his face and I had to look away.

"I'm so sorry Jacob," he whispered to my back. "I'm so, _so_, sorry."

I didn't say anything as I walked away. I spared a subtle glance back again at the clock on the wall.

It was still just as broken as me, but what did I expect?

**TBC**


	11. Interlude: Edward's Story

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part I  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
Thanks to the awesome **bovus_stercus** for the beta-ing

**Summary:**_ A feeling of deep longing, of an ache so profound in its nature, crippled me as I fell to the ground. I had no idea what happened or how long it lasted, but it seemed to never end, the feeling of unrequited affection._

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

**Visit my profile for my Livejournal page, where all the art is available for this fic, as well as the NC-17 version of the fic.**

**Please Read:** I've had this sitting on my laptop for some time now, and I thought it was high time I posted it. Many of you are probably starving for Edward right about now, so here it is.

* * *

Interlude

I played with random piano chords, my fingers swimming over each ivory key as I waited for some new melody to strike me. I had plenty of inspiration now, but the melody never seemed to fit the feeling. Or perhaps I had just simply forgotten how to put feeling to the music.

Just as I struck a C minor chord, I heard the front door slam open. I'd been waiting for Bella to enter since I heard her footsteps and labored breathing outside the house.

"Edward!" Bella knew of my enhanced hearing, but it was amusing how she seemed to forget about it as she cried out my name. Usually the sound of her voice was soothing for me, but at that moment it was frantic with worry.

I didn't bother to cover the piano as I ran to her. She gasped as I was suddenly standing in front of her, her heart beating painfully loudly.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Jacob, I—"

"You went to the reservation?" I didn't mean to shout at her, but since the situation arose weeks ago, I'd become more weary than ever about Bella stepping foot on Quileute land, fearing she'd find out what happened between Black and me. She seemed taken aback by the anger in my voice, but went on to explain.

"No…no I saw him in the grocery store. Edward, something's wrong, he was just—he wasn't _himself_!" Her eyes spoke of some great fear, a fear I myself had begun feeling only days after that unfortunate meeting by the lake. Though I knew her worry came as that of a friend, _mine_ was something far more difficult to explain, more difficult to _justify_. I was a vampire, for God's sake, how was I supposed to even begin to explain the sudden protective—possessive, even—feelings I had for some dirty mutt?

"I'm sure he's fine," I tried to tell her calmly. I could fool her into believing I was calm and not worried, but irrationally, inside I was quaking with anxiety. I had no reason to feel any such feelings for a boy I'd met less than a handful of times, yet I did.

She shook her head forcefully, her hair flying in different directions. "No, no, you don't understand, there was something _seriously_ wrong with him! He got so angry with me…I don't even understand why, I just touched him and he—"

"You touched him?" I was gritting my teeth as I all but spit the words out. "Where?"

To anyone else, it would have sounded as though I was possessive about her putting her hands on someone else. But I wondered—only for a second—if I was maybe possessive about _him_ being touched by her. I didn't want to think about that possibility though. Not now…not ever.

"What does it matter? I was worried about him, and he just-I don't even know, Edward, he ran away from me," her voice trailed off. "I'm worried about him. I tried calling his cell but it went straight to voicemail."

"Bella, Jacob can take care of himself. I'm sure wherever he is, he's fine." Who was I trying to reassure? Her, or myself?

"Please, Edward, find him, you have to go look for him," her voice was so desperate and I knew, somehow I knew, it wouldn't take much more on her part before I would leave to seek out the missing wolf.

"I don't even know where to begin looking," I tried to say, though even I could hear how weak an excuse it was.

"Edward, don't do this. Don't let some stupid treaty line dictate your life and your decisions. Even if you don't care for him, Jacob could be seriously hurt. How could you live with yourself if—"

"Alright." Anger rose in my throat, bitter, sickening anger as I heard what she was about to say. "And it isn't some stupid treaty line," I muttered, stepping around her and through the still open door. "That treaty line is there to protect people," the _like you _was left unspoken, but we both heard it.

I wondered if that had been too cruel, but I was already walking away before I could stop to apologize. Lately, it seemed I was too quick to anger around her. I couldn't explain it; one minute we would be talking easily, then suddenly I was fighting to keep control of my anger. Almost always it was when she mentioned Jacob Black.

I didn't want to think about Black. Not at that moment, not _ever_. But with nothing to do all day, all night, I found him increasingly becoming the only thing I did think about.

They weren't romantic thoughts, not by a longshot. But they weren't thoughts of ripping him apart either. I would find myself unconsciously picturing his face, or his wolf form, or even just the Quileute land at random moments in the day. Sometimes at night, thoughts of what he looked like sleeping plagued my mind, turning over and over until I was thinking deformed thoughts of myself and him together. Not intimate, just…_together_.

I was running and hadn't even noticed. The world flew by me like the reel of a film. Colors, mostly green and brown hues from the trees rushed passed me too quickly to properly see. I paid them no heed.

I had no idea where I was going, but strangely the thought of stopping never occurred to me. It was twilight, my safest time. While the bloodlust was nothing more than a fleeting thought in my mind, my instincts still seemed to have taken over me.

I continued to run for some time until, for reasons I may never be able to understand, I suddenly stopped.

I stood stone-still. There was nothing assuming about where I was, except the sounds of pathetic whimpering that I could hear. Whoever, or whatever, was making those sounds couldn't have been far away, though the sound of their cries was faint.

I began to tread slowly, somehow knowing who it was I was hearing as I came closer. And then there he was, Jacob Black in his wolf form.

I could only just make him out, the canopy of trees above protecting the forest floor from starlight. My other senses felt sharper.

I walked closer. His breathing was labored, harsh whimpers that tore at something unnamable inside me spilling from his mouth.

"What have you done to yourself, Black?" I asked rhetorically, knowing I wouldn't get a reply.

His thoughts flowed like honey through my mind. He recognized me, had recognized me from the moment I'd entered his field of vision, but he didn't believe it _was_ me, believing instead it was his own mind playing a cruel game with his heart. From his thoughts alone, I gathered just how much pain he was in, though I didn't understand why.

I began to make my way to his shaking form. A sudden break in the trees cast a ray of moonlight on him. For a second, all I could do was stare.

He was dirty, whimpering, quivering in pain, and all I could think was how enchanting, how ethereal he looked in that moment. That was, until I suddenly paid attention to his thoughts.

_My own angel…_

I wanted to snort at that. I was no angel. Angels didn't find beauty in a broken man, or in his case, wolf. "Not quite an angel," I whispered.

I felt his embarrassment as though it were my own, feeling doubly shocked that I could feel his emotions so strongly. Masking the embarrassment though was a fierce sense of longing and relief, as though I really _were_ an angel, sent to save him.

"Bla—ack," I groaned, unable to stop myself. He had no idea what his thoughts were doing to me, making me feel so irrationally protective. I had to stop this, stop these feelings. They would only damage the fragile _thing_ the wolves and vampires of little town Forks had created.

I shuddered as his thoughts of self-loathing bombarded me. Every feeling of worthlessness made me feel almost guilty for wanting to reject him, but I shook my head and cleared my thoughts, trying to block his voice from my mind.

"Black, stop it," I said. I winced, though he didn't see it, from the irritation I hadn't managed to hide.

_How could I let my imprint see me so weak?_

"You're not weak!" I couldn't help but grind out. Did he really think himself so useless? I knelt down beside him. "And I'm not angry."

_Liar._

"I'm not angry at _you_," I told him, and I wasn't. I was angry at the situation he'd put us in by imprinting on me, I was angry at whatever had caused him so much pain, I was angry at myself for feeling so ridiculously protective of him all of a sudden…I was angry at many things, but I wasn't angry at _him_. "I'm just…I…You couldn't understand Bla-Jacob."

I didn't want to be crueler than what he deserved. He had given me space these past few weeks, knowing he would have to endure pain because of it. I figured the least I could do was call him by his given name.

I sighed, frustrated at the world at that moment. He looked at me, noticing our close proximity. Without thinking, I reach out and placed my hand on his shoulder. I never could have foreseen his reaction.

He jerked, a whine escaping his muzzle before I suddenly found myself with Jacob Black, _human_ Jacob Black, trembling tremulously like a tiny leaf on the ground.

His relief was nearly palpable, sobs wracking his form. Without hesitating, I bent lower and grasped him in my arms, pulling him up into a tight embrace. I didn't think about the fact that he was naked and dirty. As I wrapped my cold arms around him, all I knew to do was offer him what little comfort I could.

He buried his face into my shoulder, breathing deeply between each cry. I recognized the gesture as something Bella often did when she cried.

It was strange, feeling so needed by two people. My scent was something I had no control over, it was only another inhuman characteristic I'd found myself with to help lure victims to their doom after all. But for Jacob, it was as though it were the only thing he needed to stay alive.

"Shhh, Jacob," I whispered into his ear, trying to soothe him, "just breathe…That's it, breathe, it's okay."

He cried harder and I understood. I knew, I _felt_, it was no longer from pain, but from fear; fear I would leave him again, which we both knew I would. He was clutching my jacket like a dying man, and it suddenly dawned on me in that moment…that he was.

* * *

Back to Part X **June 24, 2010**


	12. Part X

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part X  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
**Un-beta-ed**

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

* * *

Part X

It was only after I'd walked out the front door that I realized I left my bag in dad's house. It was pointless to go back to get it though. Now that I had a better understanding of what happened in Forks, I figured I would be staying an even shorter time than I'd originally anticipated.

I had taken a bus and a cab just to get to the reservation, but walking into the woods, I saw no reason to do so to leave. I could run fast enough that no one would notice me. While the veins that protruded obscenely from my skin looked strange enough, it wasn't that that made me cautious to be encounter anyone; I just didn't want anyone to recognize _me_, Jacob Black, and ask uncomfortable questions.

I ran at a humanly pace deeper and deeper into the forest. Though the trees and the forestry were enough to confuse anyone after only a few steps in, for me, each leaf and limb was like being greeted by an old friend.

I stopped when I reached the heart of the forest; circling around, touching a tree, running my fingers against the swollen ground, upturning a rock with the heel of my boot. I knew I was simply stalling, trying to put off the inevitable for a little while longer. It was pointless and stupid—I knew that too.

After what felt to be half an hour of aimless loitering, I finally stilled. I gripped the edges of my shirt and carefully peeled it off, stretching my arms back and rotating my shoulders after I dropped it to the ground. I flexed my arms, reveling in the sinewy muscle I could swear I could still feel pulsing. I reached down and unbuttoned my jeans next, my shoes slipping off just before I shucked off my pants, tying them with my belt to my leg loosely afterward. Every fiber of my being was thrumming; there was this decadent mixture of anticipation, adrenaline, and anxiety churning within me, but I did my best to quell the emotions. Every motion I made was done almost reverently, ceremoniously.

When I stood bare as the longing in my soul, I tipped my head back and looked at the sky. Everything in the past 11 years had come down to this moment. I knew it; I felt it. Broken laws and peace treaties and natures that couldn't be kept separate; I was one with them all.

Bending down to my hands and knees, I prayed for a moment for what I was about to do to be as painless as possible. It was a ritual I had begun since the first day I'd tried this after being turned. I never wanted to feel that excruciating, crippling pain in my limbs again as I had that day when I'd met Bella in the supermarket or those 3 days as I waited for my body to either accept or reject the poison being fed to me.

As a human-shifter, it was anger, rage, passion, that was needed to turn to a wolf. It was easier that way to embrace the beast within. I found though that as whatever I am now, it was much easier—and safer—to simply let the change flow.

Still hunched over on the forest floor, I let my mind free, reaching into those thoughts of a wolf. I pictured the transformation, the shift, let it flow over me as I embraced the most primal being within.

I kept my eyes clenched closed as I waited out the change. I could feel the bunching and stretching of my different muscles, the bones realigning, the very threads of my existing coaxed into a different form—not better, not worse, just different.

It took not 5 minutes for the entire change to complete, but it always felt much longer, this becoming of one with my inner beast. I looked exactly as I had from before I'd been changed to a vampiric hybrid, and of that I would be eternally grateful.

For a moment, I worried shifting while so close to my old pack would awaken the bond we'd shared, but there were no voices, no stray thoughts, in my mind and once again, I relaxed. My pants were tied a bit too tightly to my leg, but there was no chance I would shift back just too loosen the knot.

I began to walk like a dog with an air of purpose, which I was. I knew I could reach the Cullens' house eventually through these woods. I couldn't remember if dad had mentioned they were still living in the same house, but I suspected they were.

It wouldn't be long now. I was finally going to see my Edward again.

* * *

I started at an easy lope before the anticipation thrumming through my veins became too much to ignore, making me break into a run.

It was getting later, the sky darker as night approached and more clouds began to cover the sky. The wind ran through my thick fur comfortingly, and I was reminded again of the beauty in being _this_, a shifter. The world rushing past me, the roar of the woods in my ears, the smells of this damp home…For the first time, I realized just _how much_ I'd missed this all.

Everything was a blur of grey, green, and brown as I ran ever faster, leaping like a gazelle over fallen trees and large rocks, avoiding branches and thick bushes in my way. The longer I ran, the more liberated I felt.

Soon enough, the scent of the woods changed, subtly. I among the scents of forest and its creatures, there was a distinct waft of something sweeter, something promising. It was like the scent of rain in the early morning with the sun still shining; I knew what was coming.

I could already see the break in the trees and as I came closer to it, that was when I finally pulled back, falling into a loping gait before finally coming back to a walk. I stopped at the edge, still remembering how I'd stood in this exact spot so many years ago.

I couldn't stop shivering, though I knew it wasn't possibly from any feeling of cold. My ears swiveled, catching every stray sound. I sat on my haunches, thinking about what to do next.

The house looked exactly as it had 11 years ago, with a few minor differences. I could also sense _them_ inside, and with a feeling anxiety, I realized they could probably sense me too. How long would it be before they came out to me, I couldn't help but wonder. Would they even come out or would they wait for me? Could they even know it was _me_? Perhaps my scent had changed completely as well…

There was no use delaying the inevitable. I had come here for a reason and to sit here like a coward was not something I was used to doing, although in the years since I'd imprinted I often myself doing things the old Jacob would _never_ do.

And now it was time. 11 years of waiting and the end was finally here.

* * *

I barely noticed myself changing back, too distracted with thoughts of how this first meeting would be like. Slipping on my pants and feeling slightly foolish as I realized I'd neglected to bring my shirt, I stepped away from my protective cover in the trees. I walked with purpose around the side of the house to the front.

This time there was no irritatingly bubbly face bursting the door open as I knocked. In fact, I was left waiting before the front door for several minutes in silence. I _knew_ they were inside, could hear the noises they made.

Footsteps to the door; the handle turned…and before the door was even fully opened, I collapsed.

I stared up at the face behind the screen for only a second before it too was flung open. Before I could say anything, I was swept into a pair of freezing hard arms, held tightly against an unmoving chest.

I didn't stop to think as I flung my arms around the solid body holding me. I didn't think about how desperate I must have looked or felt. All I could think about was getting as close to this person as I possibly could.

"_Edward_," his name came as barely a whisper from my mouth as I closed my arms impossibly tighter around his frigid frame, burying my face into the crook of his neck. I wasn't breathing in his scent so much as I was gulping lungfuls of it in, as though I were a starving man. I had no idea what I was doing, had utterly no control over my body.

And it was then I made the mistake.

My mouth opened, wide. I barely registered my tongue sweeping across the pale skin of his neck before I felt my teeth sinking in; my teeth were somehow biting into his marble cold skin. Before I could wonder at what was happening, I was thrown back, pushed roughly away from Edward, landing hard on my back. I didn't feel any pain though I was aware of the imprint my body had left in the soft ground.

I stared up the sky for a second, my chest heaving unnecessarily before I sat up, stumbling as I stood.

Edward stood on his porch, looking so heartbreakingly beautiful I felt like I had imprinted on him all over again. Despite our distance, I could see every chiseled mark on his face, still smell him, still _taste_ him, like ambrosia on my tongue. And that made me freeze, as I realized I actually _had _tasted him and that that was the reason Edward was standing with his hand clutching his neck. His eyes, gold like the sun across the vast expanse of the sea, stared back at me with undisguised disbelief and unmasked shock. I had a feeling my eyes mirrored his.

I tried to take a step toward him, but before my foot had even reached the ground, I found myself once again flat on my back, him looming over me. His hands gripped my shoulders as he held me down, straddling my waist. He was so close to me, closer to me now than he ever was 11 years ago aside from the time he let me cry into his shoulder in the woods.

I was absolutely aware of every inch of him, and for the first time in a long time, I was completely grateful to the heightened senses I gained from being bitten. It was like he was all around me, his scent swimming and embracing every inch of my body and leaving me reeling. His proximity left me light headed, his touch like the press of velvet across my skin where he touched my naked my torso.

It felt like every erotic fantasy I'd had of him over the years, only better.

I knew he'd caught that thought as it flashed through my mind by the way his head jerked back. He didn't look disgusted and he didn't pull away—of that I was immensely grateful.

"First time you see me in how many years, Jacob Black, and you molest me," were the first words out of his mouth. I hadn't heard his voice in years, and _that's_ what he says to me. At least it was far more eloquent than what I said next.

"_Fuck_."

* * *

**TBC**


	13. Part XI

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part X  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
**Un-beta-ed**

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

* * *

**Please read:** Aish, I'm sorry for the late update! The truth is, I wrote this fic with Bella alive, but the more I read the rest of the parts, the more I realized I'd really overdone her role. I won't go into details, but I really hated the rest of the story, so I took out 3 parts (making the overall fic a little shorter, sorry guys) and rewrote the rest of them, hence why this part took so fucking long to get posted. But here's a little spoiler: Bella is gone. For good.

The focus of this fic was always supposed to be Edward/Jacob. Believe it or not, when I first thought of this fic, it was supposed to be a_oneshot_, not 25,000+ words _ Anyway, enjoy this part and the rest of the fic.

Btw, I want to say one last thing. No one has said anything to me yet, but in case anyone 'wtf?'-ed at the part where Jacob can only survive on Edward's blood, I want to say this to justify my plot change: If Edward, a dead person who supposedly has no blood, can _get it up to impregnate Bella_ when he shouldn't even have semen if he doesn't have blood to get it up in the first place, then I can take the liberty of giving him some blood to add to my plot. I mean, people are writing _Jacob_ getting pregnant; I don't think I'm putting in too much by letting him drink Edward's blood. Sorry if I sound defensive, but I wanted to say this before someone cracks an egg over my head ;) Now really on to the fic ^^

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Part XI

"_Fuck._"

"Eloquent as ever, I see."

I stared at him in shock. Of all the reactions I'd expected from him, this was the last I'd braced myself for.

"I'm just full of surprises," he said. Our faces were barely a foot apart, him smirking at me. I shuddered, breathing in his scent. It was exactly the same as I remembered it, just as beautiful and intoxicating.

"How can you be so…"

"Calm?" I nodded, feeling beyond flabbergasted. I felt my entire body quiver, as though in anticipation, waiting for his next move.

He didn't answer me though, instead stating, "You've changed."

I glared at him. _Your fault. _My glare became more pronounced as he laughed, but even to my own ears it sounded mirthless.

"_You_ were the one who chose to stay there."

I wanted to punch him. I wanted to hit him so badly that my shoulder jerked beneath his hand. He didn't even blink though as he pressed me down harder. He lifted his knee and dropped it on my hip, pinning me down further. I growled lowly in the back of my throat, feeling threatened.

Clearly my wolf instincts were still intact even if my common sense wasn't.

"Don't blame me for your masochism. _I_ didn't ask you to sacrifice yourself," he said, his voice lowering.

I growled again, feeling my muscles tighten in anticipation to shift. Was he really writing away what I'd done for him? Was he that fucking selfish? I felt the familiar burn of rage inching its way up my throat, but before I could do anything, his hand moved to my throat, travelling slowly up to my face and pushing it to the side hard.

He lowered his head to my ear and when his lips brushed my ear, I shuddered from something far different from anger. "Don't _ever_ accuse me of being the selfish one, Jacob Black," he hissed. "It was your doing that put us into this mess."

His words were the last straw for me. I knocked his hands away and gripped his shirt for only a second before shoving him away hard. Seeing him hit the ground with a sharp _crack_ made my gut trill in satisfaction, especially when I caught sight of his shocked expression as he stood.

"Fuck you!" I shouted, scrambling to my feet and standing. I marched towards him, letting my anger take complete control of me. Before he could move, I shoved him back again, snarling, "How dare you say that to me?"

He continued to look shocked but I didn't care, shoving him backward a third time. "_You_ were the fucking idiot who wouldn't say what you wanted from me!" Another shove. "_You_ were the one who didn't even have the guts to tell me to go die and get it over with!"

With this next shove he stumbled and fell on his backside, but I wasn't satisfied yet. I grabbed his shirt and hauled him up, only to push him again. "Do you have _any_ idea what I put up with in these past years for you?" By this time I was screaming at the top of my lungs, not caring if everyone from here to Italy could hear me.

"I let myself _die_ for you, so that you could go off and have your life with Bella! And when I come back, that's what you say to me? That I'm _selfish_?" I was nearly ready to kill someone then. In fact, I almost wanted to kill Edward…and that right there should have been my first indication that something was wrong.

I charged at him, intent on tearing him apart; at the very least looking to punch him in the face. I brought my arm back to take the swing but he caught my fist before it collided with his marble hard face, once again throwing me back. He flew at me with a speed I never would have imagined had I not experienced it firsthand.

We fell backwards onto the soft ground, causing another deep dip in the grass. I clawed at him; punched him, shoved him, did everything I could. Every hit I landed on him he reciprocated on me until we were nothing more than a rolling pile of limbs in the grass.

At one point I managed to flip him onto his back. I didn't hesitate to land my fist as hard as I could on his face, feeling satisfied as it cracked beneath my clenched fingers. And then I did something neither of us could ever have expected.

With him struggling under me, only one thing kept repeating in my mind: _Claim…claim…claim…_

I was already a slave to my instincts, and this was one I was utterly powerless to resist. I dropped my head to his neck and, just as I'd done before, latched my teeth into his neck. It was like biting a peppermint; his skin resisted for several seconds until suddenly, I _felt_ it crack in my mouth. I didn't pull back and Edward didn't shove me away like he did last time.

My mouth was suddenly filled with something I'd prepared myself to never taste again; a trickle of his blood.

Only a tiny bit slipped between my lips, but it was like drinking the elixir of life. All my muscles, my bones, the very fabric of my being ignited into small flames of energy, of sheer _power_. I was aroused beyond imagining, both literally and figuratively, and was aware of nothing but the taste of liquid ambrosia on my tongue.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware of Edward groaning beneath me. His skin had patched back together almost instantly, and so I continued to bite down again and again, trying to take a little more of his blood each time.

It was like a cloud of pleasure had invaded my senses, rendering me blind of everything else. I didn't know how long we were like that on the ground, but at some point Edward stopping writhing under my body, allowing me to do what I wanted. Perhaps his blood had given me the extra strength I needed to resist his attempts to push me off of him; I couldn't be completely sure, but there had to be a reason he hadn't pushed me away. For a second I entertained the idea that it was because it was just as pleasurable for him as it was for me, but dismissed it just as quickly as the thought came. It was pointless to dwell on such thoughts.

When I was satisfied with what I'd taken, I halted the movements of my mouth, but didn't pull away. With nothing else to think about and no more pleasure slowly trickling down my throat, I was brought back to face the horrible reality of what I'd done.

I pulled back, hesitatingly slowly. My body quivered from something I couldn't name and when I was far enough back, I stared down at Edward in a mixture of desire and horror. He had his eyes closed, his mouth hung open a bit as his tongue peeked out to lick the corner of his mouth before disappearing. I felt the urge to lean down and lick that same spot, to taste more of his essence. I didn't even notice myself moving, my head lowering slowly to his mouth, waiting to feel his skin on my tongue once more—

"Don't even think about it," he hissed, eyes jerking open. I startled back, falling off of him onto my side.

He reached his hand up to his neck, fingers grazing carefully over the place I'd been tearing into. When he looked at his hand though, there was nothing there.

He gave an unnecessary sigh, looking at me. I expected to see anger, disgust, at the very least discomfort. The only thing I saw though was resignation.

"I was afraid this would happen," he said lowly, holding my gaze.

"What—"

"It's the imprint," he said shortly. "That, and the Volturi turning you into something you aren't supposed to be. You need blood like all of us, but because you'd been turned when your human self had already formed a dependence on something, meaning me, it's what you brought with you when you turned; your 'gift' I suppose you could call it. You don't need human or animal blood because you can survive off of mine."

I suppose I'd always known this, somewhere in the depths of my denial. It made sense though. When the Volturi turned me, the strongest part of my being, the one that would follow me as I was changed, was my need for Edward.

It dawned on me then. "You sent the blood each month." It was more a statement than a question, but Edward nodded.

"The Volturi contacted Carlisle, who told me about you not being able to drink human _or_ animal blood. I was the one who thought of giving you mine."

"Why?"

He looked perplexed for a second. "What do you mean?"

"Why give me your blood? I would have died at some point without it. I should think that's what you would have wanted."

His face darkened into a scowl, and I suddenly remembered thinking the same thing 11 years ago. _You should have let me die._

"When will you get it through your head that I will _not_ let you _die_?" he asked angrily.

"Maybe when you decide to accept me," I growled back, feeling another stirring of anger again.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I accepted you a long time ago, Black." My eyes widened in surprise, unsure what he meant exactly. "Do you really think I would have gone after you in the woods if I wanted you to die? Do you really think I would have sent my blood to you every month for years if I didn't think it would help you?" Suddenly his eyes softened with something with something akin to hurt. "Do you really have so little regard for me?"

I wanted to say no, _I believe you, I've always believed you_, but it would have been a lie. I needed him because he was my imprint, but did that necessarily mean I had unshakeable trust in him? No.

I looked away, unable to meet his eyes any longer. "How was I supposed to ever know? Every time I saw you—"

"You always assumed I just wanted you gone." Suddenly I was aware of him scooting closer to me. He dropped his hands on my shoulders and forced me to look at him. His eyes were intense as he gazed at me. "I won't lie, Jacob, in the beginning I told you I needed time when really I just wanted you to leave me alone. I'd hoped that if we had some space between us the imprint, the _bond_ between us, would dissipate, or at least lessen. But the longer the time between our meetings went on, the more I couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't _want_ you, or _desire_ you like that. I was still very much in love with Bella. But at the same time, you were always on my mind, until I thought I would go crazy thinking about you.

"And when you offered yourself to the Volturi in my place, I still held on to the hope that maybe with distance added to the time, our feelings would just fade away. I didn't lie when I told you that you dying wasn't what I wanted; I _didn't_ want you dead. But I could hear every one of your thoughts and God Jacob, your thoughts could have made the most miserable man on earth seem happy. Even if _I_ didn't want you dead…_you_ _did_. You'd already accepted you were going to die. And that's why I left. If it would have made you feel a little better, I was willing to let you do it."

Had I been able to, I would have been crying at that point, and I wasn't afraid to admit it. Edward's confession wasn't anything that I'd ever let myself hope to hear, yet it was _everything_ that I wanted. To hear, even if I had waited over a decade to hear it, that there had become a point where he needed _me_ just as much as I needed _him_ was like a balm to the wound on my unbeating heart. And the hope I'd begun to feel suddenly increased tenfold.

"Edward—"

"Let's not talk about this anymore," he interjected quickly, standing and dusting himself off—though it did nothing to really clean off his clothes—before bending down and offering me his hand. I stood before him, feeling awkward and uncomfortable again.

"Come on, we need to meet with the family about what happens next," he said, turning.

"Wait, Edward," I said as I grabbed his wrist and spun him around, suddenly realizing something. "Aren't you going to ask me why I'm back?"

"I already know."

I stared at him in surprise. "I didn't come back for you," I said, not believing he understood fully.

"I know."

"No, Edward, I didn't even _come back_. I'm here because the Volturi sent me here."

"Jacob, I _know_."

"You know? You really know?" He nodded slowly. "So you know I have to kill Bella," I stated more than asked. He turned his head away and yanked his arm out of my grasp, taking several steps backward. The distance he put between us made me feel like we were once again leagues apart. I worked to keep the hurt out of my thoughts.

"Bella is dead, Jacob."

_That's what dad said too_, I thought to myself. "That isn't possible. They wouldn't have sent me here for nothing, so where is she?" He stayed silent and I felt irritation creep up on me again. "You turned her, didn't you? After Seth attacked her, you took her away and turned her," I spat accusingly. I wasn't sure if it was jealousy or genuine anger that was clouding my judgment, but once again, Edward was glaring back at me.

"We didn't turn her," he said slowly, making sure I heard every one of his words. "The wolf venom from Seth's bite gave her barely two days to live. We _wanted_ to turn her, were willing to. But she suddenly wouldn't let us. After spending a year trying to convince me to turn her, in the end she refused when I finally relented."

I had a terrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach. What I was about to ask…I knew I didn't want to know the answer, I knew it was going to be bad. But I had to know. I had to. "Why?"

He knew what I was really asking and didn't beat around the bush to reveal, "Because after learning you imprinted on me, she didn't want to be the wedge between us, the thing keeping us apart. And when I told her they were going to kill you anyway," my heart clenched painfully as he said this, "do you know what she said to me?" He didn't wait for me to answer, forging on, "She said, '_You and I both know they won't kill him. So wait for him and tell him I'm sorry for getting us into this mess_.'"

I felt sick. Sick with everything that had happened.

In the end, Bella blamed herself for everything that had happened. On the one hand, I had to wonder how she could have been so selfish to think that everything was _her_ fault, and then use that as an excuse to become a martyr. But then I realized it didn't matter, none of it mattered anymore, because Bella really was dead.

"That doesn't explain why the Volturi would send me back here to kill someone who's already dead."

"You came here thinking you would kill Bella," he stated.

"Yes, I know that," I said, not understanding where he was going with this.

"Were you going to, though? Would you have really killed her?"

I didn't hesitate to answer, "No. I wasn't going to."

He nodded, suddenly looking grim. "And that's why they sent you back."

I growled, frustrated. "Stop speaking in riddles, damnit! If you know why they sent me back, fucking tell me!" He stared at me but didn't seem to be angering at my words. He looked tired all of a sudden, as though he'd been afraid of this moment more than anything.

"Before you got here Aro contacted Carlisle and told us you were coming. He wanted Carlisle to try to convince me to accept you as a true mate. He didn't say why but we know anyway."

It still didn't make any sense to me, until Edward finally revealed, "He knew that if you met me, you wouldn't be able to resist your instincts, that you'd become even more dependent on me. He wanted it to come to the point where you really _couldn't_ survive without me, because he knew I had already come to the point where I wouldn't let you die, so I would be forced to follow you back to Volterra to keep you alive. We all know you can't stay here, you stand out too much with your skin even if it you do try to cover up. So the only option really is for us to go back to Italy, _together_, which is what Aro has wanted from the beginning, since years ago before you were turned; for me to join the Volturi.

"Do you understand now Jacob? You just drank my blood; I just admitted to you that I've accepted you. And now? _You can't survive without me anymore_."

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**-TBC-**

Btw, the fic from here on out is leaving the angst and getting more into the fluff. Erm, as you'll soon see, I _suck_ at angst, teehee ^^"


	14. Part XII

**Title:** Of Forever  
**Chapter:** Part XII  
**Author:** Sleepybard  
**Rating:** Overall NC-17  
**Pairing:** Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella  
**Warnings:** Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama  
**Author's Note:** This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.  
**Un-beta-ed**

**Summary:** Months after Edward and Bella return from Volterra and Jacob is left wondering what's next. Maybe he's prepared to fight for Bella. Fate, however, is a bit more fickle than that, because he's just not meant to live alone. _Or is he_?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

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**Please read:** I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am for this late update! Oh jeez, I don't know how the time just flew by! My computer was in the shop for 3 weeks and I lost half my fics and ugh, it's been a mess. I'm so sorry guys :( **There are only 2 parts left for this fic, and possibly an epilogue.** Thank you to everyone who's stayed with me since the beginning.

"_Do you understand now Jacob? You just drank my blood; I just admitted to you that I've accepted you. And now? You can't survive without me anymore."_

What a cruel joke.

What a stupid, stupid, cruel joke.

"No," I said, my voice soft but steady. Edward's eyes widened. He took a step towards me but I backed away, maintained the distance. "No," I said again. "Just…_no_."

"Jacob—"

"_Shut up!_" I screamed. There was a buzzing in my ears, like static playing in my head. I turned away and for a second, I wasn't sure if I was shaking or if it was the ground itself quaking.

"So it's my fault?" I asked, giving a dry, humorless laugh. "It's my fault Bella's dead?" He didn't respond and that there was my answer. "I told her _every chance I got_ that I would protect her. I told her that_you_ would get her killed." I spun around and faced him. "And in the end, it was me. I killed her.

"How can you be so calm, Edward?" My voice fell weak, broken as I stared at him. I was pleading, begging him for answers, for salvation. How could I live with this guilt burning my insides, crucifying me to a self-created cross of mistakes and shame? _How could I—_

"Shh," I found myself back in his arms, collapsed and feeling destitute of any emotion. "I'm sorry Jacob. I'm sorry they never told you. I'm—" he hesitated before forging on, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

I clutched at his shirt, fingers digging into the wrinkles of the fabric. Perhaps I was the one making the wrinkles, ruining his shirt like I ruined everything else of his.

His arms tightened painfully around me. I buried my head in his chest and tried to escape, to leave the truth behind me. But with my eyes closed and my senses reeling from his scent and proximity and offered comfort, I couldn't hide away.

"Don't leave me." I let my words seep into his shirt, unsure he'd even heard me, so I repeated it. "Don't leave me."

Maybe it was my imagination, my desperate, hopelessly hopeful imagination. Could Edward really have said it?

"Never…Not anymore Jacob."

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_2 weeks later_

Every day I spent with Edward was pushing my luck. There was only so long I could spend in Washington before the Volturi realized had no intention of coming back and I was testing their patience by prolonging my stay.

I wasn't going back though, of that I was sure. And I certainly would be dragging Edward back with me, even if he _did_ want to come with me—which I knew he didn't.

That left few options for us, because we couldn't stay in Forks and we both knew it. If we were honest, there was nowhere we could go because the Volturi would find us. It was easier to deny that though. It was easier to believe there was _somewhere_ in the world we could be safe.

I thought about it long and hard in the two weeks I spent in Edward's home. His 'family' had been accommodating enough. They left me alone, I left them alone. At Edward's urging I went with them on a hunt—though I didn't need to and they knew it. Running with the Cullens in my wolf form was exhilarating, liberating. It made me want to howl and cry at the sky, to run so fast and so far my fur remained frozen and laid back against my back.

I just wanted freedom. I wanted this guilt in my chest to loosen, wanted to not feel the oppressive eyes of the Volturi on my back. I wanted to grab Edward and sew his heart to mine, to not feel such anguish at the thought of him leaving me again or fear that he would. He seemed to understand; he didn't leave me by myself for more than several hours ever in those two weeks.

We took long walks in the woods, trying to understand each other. It was easier for him because I only had to think of my past, my feelings, sometimes my insecurities for him to learn about what I'd been up to in the past decade. But for me, hearing him _speak_ of his the guilt and the anguish he'd endured these past years was even harder, because it only fed my own compunction.

We were walking together now, enjoying the tranquil dawn as the sun rose. Wordlessly, we came to halt, him stopping beside the base of tree and myself stopping several feet away. He was looking into the distance, eyes shuttered with something I couldn't put my finger one. The gold of his hair twinkled from the sun's virgin rays, haloing him in bronze light. It was one of the few sunny days and we were going to enjoy it together.

His skin glinted like the rough edge of diamond. I found myself mesmerized as I stared at him, even though my own skin was no different.

"Let's play a game," he suddenly said, breaking the silence. He finally turned to look at me, eyes light and filled with mirth. I stared back, certain he had gone crazy. He laughed then, no doubt hearing the thought.

"I'm not crazy," he responded, ignoring my look of disbelief. I sighed.

"Fine," I said, looking away and trying not to stammer. I was still uncomfortable being around him and having him be so civil to me. "What kind of game?"

"Close your eyes." Immediately I closed them, wanting to slap my head with my palm for being so submissive again. I could just hear the grin in his voice as he continued. "Close your eyes and keep them closed. First one to flinch or open their eyes loses."

"What the hell?" I huffed. It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard and I told him such.

"Just do it, Jacob," he replied impatiently.

I stood there motionlessly for what felt like a half hour but couldn't have been more than a few minutes. I wondered what he was planning. With my better hearing, I heard and felt the ground shake and for a moment, I suddenly worried he'd run off.

"Shhh," he whispered, sounding oddly breathlessly. I felt myself tense, sensing him so much closer all of a sudden. For a second, I could have sworn his arm brushed against mine.

I continued waiting. For once I was glad my heart no longer beat, because I was sure if it did everyone from here back to Italy would hear it.

Without warning, I was suddenly pulled into his embrace, his cold arms wrapping around my back and pulling me towards him. I could do nothing but stumble against him, my hands instinctually coming up and bracing against his chest.

I gasped, though it was unneeded, my eyes immediately opening wide. My face pressed into his neck, my hands trapped between us, his arms holding me tightly, _securely_, to him…I felt something, some foreign, frightening rush throughout my body. A choked sound fell from my lips.

Edward, my Edward, my sweet, sweet Edward. How long had I yearned for such a touch, such acceptance? How many years had I longed to be held, to be loved, to be wanted as wholly as I wanted my imprint? My desire, my need, every wish to be accepted I'd ever dreamt…all came together in that moment as Edward held me, cradling me against him.

For the first time in more than 10 years…I felt whole…complete.

I felt loved.

Waves of emotion wracked my body. I would have been crying had I been able to. We stood together, body to body, for hours, days, forever. I felt as though I'd died.

When he finally pulled away again, the disappointment I felt was almost as strong as the joy I'd felt just moments before.

I stared at him, marveling at the perfect stature of his face, the elegance and mirth in his eyes, the gentle sweep of his lips as they quirked into a smile, the sun an insidiously welcoming backdrop behind him.

I didn't smile back though. I could only gaze at him in longing for a moment.

"I—" I froze as his hand suddenly reached up to my face, cupping my left cheek gently as he cradled it with care in his palm. I cleared my throat, too aware of our close proximity and the intimacy of his look and touch.

"I think I lost," I finally whispered, a mere susurrus of breath from my lips. He let his smile grow, the edges of his eyes crinkling beautifully.

This time, I smiled back.

* * *

Something changed after that, something delicate and beautiful and so, so invigorating. We were suddenly not just always together, but _together_. It felt like we'd both finally come to acknowledge the bond between us and that in itself was beautiful. Being able to feel him accept me, and not just thinking that he had, made my unbeating heart feel warm.

Still, he didn't push it either. He touched me more, little caresses and gentle sweeps of his hands down my back. Sometimes he ran his fingers through my hair. One night while we lay on his bed he'd even traced the veins protruding obscenely from my skin with the pad of his forefinger. It had felt good; I could feel myself falling even further for him.

It wasn't long before I needed his blood again. I'd been putting it off but there was only so long I could be around him, his blood singing to me, without thinking of it. I suppose he himself wasn't immune to me, because as I sat on his bed, watching him with his back to me flicking through his CD collection and eying the bare patch of skin on his neck as it teased me, making me wonder what it would feel like to sink my teeth deep into that flesh, he suddenly stiffened, spinning around and shooting me a heated look.

I was about to apologize, knowing he'd heard my intense thoughts. He surprised me by suddenly shoving me back onto the bed, staring down at me from above. His eyes were fierce as they stared at me, searching for something. He held me down, fingers pressing into my shoulders and keeping me immobile.

"Edward," I whispered, my voice trembling as I recognized the heat growing between us.

Faster than any human could have seen, he flipped us on the bed so that I lay between his legs as he shifted onto his back.

"You need to feed," he said.

I shivered. "I know."

He tilted his head to the side, exposing the column of his pale throat. Its expanse taunted me, made the urgency to take what he was offering grow unbearably. I tried to resist, but he wouldn't have it.

"Do it," he said, adding softly, "I want you to."

My eyes traced the sharp angle of his jaw down to the juncture of his neck and collarbone. When his right leg suddenly twitched, rubbing almost flirtatiously against my side, I lost it.

My lips met his neck, my tongue skimmed his skin, my nose inhaled his scent. I mouthed his jaw, placing small, chaste kisses on his flesh to his throat before finally, _finally_, I opened my mouth and allowed my teeth to sink in.

It felt like biting into the dirt—resistant before suddenly giving away. His skin tore beneath my teeth and it wasn't beautiful like the old movies, it wasn't enchanting or romantic or smooth and effortless but lord, it felt so _right_, so _good_ to have his intoxicating essence slide into my mouth.

I drank like there was nothing I could do without it, like Edward was my salvation. And the more I drank, the further I lost my touch with what was real.

I succumbed to my urges, to my needs. I let everything of Edward wash over me and lost full awareness. With every swallow I grew fiercer, more desperate. Soon enough I was angling my head to drink in more, my hips shifting and thrusting shallowly against his. My fingers swept to his hair, carding through the soft strands and holding him still.

Edward's hands clung to my back. I could feel him running his hands down, slipping beneath my shirt and clawing at me. It was heady and intoxicating and good God I needed more…

"_Edward_," I gasped, pulling away. Drops of his blood dripped from my chin onto his cheek before his face turned to face me, eyes shadowed with undisguised desire.

We stared at each other for only a second, reading the mutual desperate desire burning between us. I licked my lips, tasting him again. His eyes narrowed and suddenly, I found myself once more on my back, staring at him.

His lips fell to mine, tongue wasting no time to plunge into my mouth. I shifted until he lay between my legs, hiking my left one around his waist and using the leverage to thrust up into him.

We released mutual groans and I knew, I _knew_ that this was it. As Edward began making love to my mouth, I knew…

There was no going back.

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**TBC**


	15. Part XIII

**Author's Notes:** Oh my lord I am SO sorry for the delay in getting this up. It's been almost 3 years now and I seriously don't know how the time got away from me! Again, my sincerest apologies. This is the final part, there will be nothing more after this. It's been edited so much that it's pretty much a different ending from the original I had written. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you for sticking with me and waiting patiently for me to finish this story!

* * *

_Hmm, _he hummed against my lips. I felt the vibrations tingle across my lips, so soft yet magnified because of my enhanced senses. The taste of Edward's blood lingered between us—I didn't know if he found his own blood as intoxicating as I found it, but at the very least he certainly didn't mind it.

Every dream feels empty when you finally experience the real thing—and this was no different. I couldn't imagine how I suffered so many years thinking I could live without this, without—without _Edward_, my _imprint_. When we were apart from each other, when he continually pushed me away, it was such a difficult thing to deal with but now, together as we were, it just felt so simple. Things that were real were easier than contemplating on what could be. That was a lesson I learned the hard way.

Edward moaned against my mouth, as though agreeing with my stray thought. I couldn't help but smile against him. Now that I'd fed and the thirst was gone, I could enjoy the moment for what it was. We had come to a point in our lives we wouldn't be able to go back from. Regardless of how long it had taken us to get here, with its sudden acceptance everything was so much clearer. So much easier to take on. Life didn't seem so bleak or endless for me, and I hoped it was the same for Edward too.

Edward's cold lips were so wonderful against mine. I wrapped my arms more tightly around his body, snaking a hand beneath his shirt and sliding my other hand in his hair to curl around the fiery strands of hair. Every sensation was so intense, everything from the softness of his hair to the marble cold touch of his skin. Even his scent, which had always been alluring and delicious, had taken on a more perfect quality.

I surged up, forcing Edward to sit up. My hands sliding down to curl easily around his waist as he straddled my lap, it suddenly hit me just how much my larger frame dwarfed his. I knew of course Edward was far from small or breakable—fragile was definitely not a word to describe him—but with my arms around him and my mouth moving furiously against him in a deep, unrestrained kiss, I felt something shift in me.

Why had I always put myself in the odd position of prey? While my imprint on Edward forced me to acquiesce to his needs, that didn't necessarily mean I had to bow to him. And with the abilities afforded me since being bitten—well, I no longer needed to play the hunted.

Hadn't Edward proven that I was his? Didn't that mean he was mine as well? My grip on him tightened at the thought. I could play the role of predator just as Edward. I was born for this after all. Wolves were made for the single purpose of hunting Edward's kind.

I growled as fire burned through my body, different from the constant fire coursing through my veins. With ease I flipped Edward onto his back, pushing his legs apart and settling between them in one easy motion.

"Jake—" he gasped, our mouths pulling apart finally so that I could sink my teeth into his neck again. Now that I was accustomed to it, I knew how much pressure to bite down with on the first try and tore through his skin easily. Anyone—any_thing_—else and this would have killed them. Hell, would've killed _me_. But Edward and I were made for each other. We were made for this kind of savagery. There was no need for delicacy or finesse. Anything Edward could hit me with I could take. Anything Edward had to offer—

_I would take_.

"Yes—" Edward shouted. "_Yes_, Jacob, yes!"

I licked away the blood on his neck and moved back to his mouth, meeting his eager mouth in relish. I wanted to consume Edward. Not just his blood but everything. All of him. His legs slid up and wrapped easily around my waist and his hands couldn't seem to sit still; constantly massaging my back, tangling in my hair. I didn't realize we were rocking against each other until I became aware of the steady rocking of his bed.

I was slipping. I felt my control, held so tightly over the past several weeks from constant crippling fear I could push Edward too hard, slipping away from me. I was reminded of that time in front of his house, almost a month ago now, when he and I first met after so many years. With him beneath me and all I could think about was claiming him. Making him mine. Possessing him.

When I had nothing left to live for it was okay to feel that way. And even now it felt like it was alright for me too feel so possessive of Edward because in the end, I knew it could never last. The Volturi would be coming to get me if when I didn't return to them. In a few weeks, maybe less, they would come and I would meet my end.

"No!" Edward interrupted my thoughts, voice fierce. He framed my face with his cold hands to hold me away. "Stop it with those thoughts. Nothing is going to happen to you Jacob. I promise you that."

I shook my head, wanting to believe him but unable to because unlike him, I _knew_the Volturi. Hell, I was one of them, wasn't I? I knew how they worked; the calculated, unhindered way they caught their prey and made them suffer. Sooner or later they would find me and I would be finished, now that I'd exhausted all that I could offer them.

"It's okay Ed. It's fine," I tried to reassure him, swallowing thickly. "I'm not afraid of them you know. Nothing they've ever done has hurt me like—" I broke off but we both knew how I was going to finish. My traitorous mind finished it for me. _Like you've hurt me._It was a completely fair statement, and it was the honest truth. Even if it did hurt Edward to hear it.

"This isn't about them Jake. It never will be."

I smiled at him, meeting his intense gaze and feeling the fire in me slowly receding again. "It was never about anyone else but you and me. I've carried you in my heart for so many years no one else ever came close. The Volturi…They might have controlled everything I did all these years but they never had this," I unwound his hand from my back and put it over my chest, holding it there firmly. "This is yours."

"You honor me with a gift I'll never be able to repay you for." Something about the way he said it made me realize that the words meant something more than how they sounded. It was more than just Edward not wanting to give me the last part of his devotion. It was like…like he didn't think he actually could.

"You're asking for something that doesn't exist. I can't give you something I never had."

I released his hand and slowly forced his legs to release me so I could settle more comfortably on top of him.

"I'm not asking you for anything," I argued.

"I accept you Jacob Black. I accepted you a long time ago. With that acceptance I understood that it meant I had to offer you something to prove the genuity of my choice. But I can't give any part of the soul you think you've claimed because I don't have one. Whatever soul I had disappeared with my humanity."

"That's not what I want from you though. I've never wanted your soul or-or your humanity!" I felt frustrated being unable to say properly what I meant. "It's only ever been just…just _you_. That's all I want or need. Not just your blood, or your lo…your affection. I just need you. To acknowledge me, and to accept me. To know me."

He reached up and cupped my face with one hand. I didn't realize I was shaking until he shushed me softly and leant up to touch our lips together again. Just held like that. No urgency, no movement. Just our mouths pressed together. It was heaven.

_Please let me have you,_I begged him with my thoughts, knowing he heard them as clearly as if I'd spoken them aloud. He nodded against my face, kissing my cheek, nipping at my chin.

Within the span of an unnecessary breath, Edward disappeared and reappeared again, pushing me flat on my back. My long legs dangled off the foot of the bed, feet comfortably on the floor.

He pushed my knees together, standing to the side of me. He put something on the table right beside the bed but before I could take a look at it I found myself shivering in sudden anticipation. The look in his eyes was so intense it almost made me nervous.

He leant down and began to undo the button on my jeans. By the time he had the zipper all the way down I finally found the strength to grab his wrist.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, mouth suddenly dry.

He didn't answer. He paused for a second then, as though steeling himself, then tugged my jeans down, pushing them all the way until they pooled at my ankles.

Then, there before my eyes, Edward slowly but confidently took his shirt off, throwing it carelessly down. I stared at the broad expanse of his pale chest, covered skimpily by the white undershirt he was wearing.

I wanted to ask him what he was doing—no, not what, but _why_. But I was afraid to speak, afraid that anything I said would break the spell he'd woven. I barely paid attention to the fact that the sheets were bunched tightly in my hands, fingers curling into the mattress. He looked up, caught my gaze, and gave me that infuriatingly devilish smirk of his, that slanted grin, just a quirk of the corner of his mouth and I swear I felt like fire raced through me.

Reaching down, Edward undid his jeans and pushed them down and stepped out of them. Now we were almost even. I didn't stop to think as I shed my own shirt, leaving me in nothing but my boxers. Edward still had his and his undershirt on, but he slid that off as well before climbing onto the edge of the bed again, crawling up until he could sit comfortably atop me.

"If this isn't what you want, tell me now," he warned, voice low. "Because we won't be able to stop after this."

I swallowed thickly, voice caught in my throat. I wouldn't have been able to speak even I'd had anything to say, so I said nothing and just jerked my head once in a mock nod.

Where he'd been slow and calculating before, this time Edward worked as fast as the wind when he pulled both our underwear off, leaving us naked and hard against each other.

Even though I wanted a chance to admire him, wanted to feel every part of him with my fingers and my tongue and rub my cheek over every smooth surface and cover Edward with my scent, I knew instinctively this would be fast and we wouldn't bother with anything soft or gentle this first time. I didn't mind though. I would take what I could get.

"Next time," he interrupted my thoughts. "Next time we'll go slow. For now…Just trust me."

I held his gaze steadily as I slowly lowered myself back to lie on the bed. Edward continued to smile at me, but it wavered just slightly when I grasped his hips between my large hands and swirled my thumbs in small circles over his hip bones.

The monster in me was roaring by this point, and I had no doubt Edward could hear every half-formed desire it was burning to do to him. I was almost frightened of myself, just picturing myself devouring Edward, having him squirm and cling to me as I took him in the most primal of ways. And I wasn't satisfied with the idea of just once. I wanted to do it again and again—I couldn't imagine myself ever being satiated. I wanted to have him—wanted to claim him in every way imaginable, _possess him_.

When Edward moaned involuntarily at that last thought, I snapped. Hands flying up to his shoulders, I yanked him down so his chest collided with mine and captured his lips in an unforgiving, unrelenting battle of tongues. Had he been human I would have already bruised him with how I dug my fingers into his skin as I rolled us so that he was beneath me.

My last thought, as I pulled away from his mouth to kiss down his chest and finally grab his nipple between my teeth was, '_It's not you I don't trust…It's me._'

Every time Edward moaned I felt a part of me swell in satisfaction. When I kissed my way down to his naval, down farther to his erection and took the head into my mouth without preamble, Edward keened so harshly I swore I felt the sound right to my fingertips. And I loved it—every sound, every inadvertent jerk, every hiss and unnecessary gasp and cry I tore from him as I sucked him off. I loved everything he gave me because it finally, _finally_settled my wolf's soul, the part of me that had longed for more than a decade to bring nothing but happiness to my imprint. Everything Edward did that showed me he was enjoying himself was validation that I could please him. For someone like myself for whom that was the only thing in life that mattered, it made everything else in life seem banal and useless.

"Jacob please—" I had no idea what Edward was begging for. I doubt he even knew. But I was too busy trying to swallow Edward's cock down my throat as far as I could to care. His length was wet from a mixture of my saliva and his own precum, and I used that to fist the base of his cock that I couldn't get to with my mouth. I moaned and hummed, hoping the vibrations would feel good for him—they must have, if his shout of surprise was anything to go by. It felt like there was nothing I could do wrong.

I didn't care when Edward's hips began to jerk off the bed. I used my elbows to press his thighs down, but that only succeeded in spreading him wider, opening him up even more for me. My eyes had closed long before I'd started and I was going on pure instinct, moving my mouth and hands in perfect tandem and going wherever I thought would bring the most pleasure to my imprint.

Edward gave a moan of protest when I finally pulled away, somehow knowing he was close to cumming. Lips pulled back, I licked a stripe from his entrance to his sac, my fingers digging into the fleshy part of his thighs now trying to stimulate his dead nerves.

Finally, when I felt like I couldn't ignore my own need any longer, I pulled back and sent Edward the filthiest grin I could possibly conjure, in some way hoping it would cover my sudden nervousness. I couldn't help but wonder if he was alright with this. Would he protest to me taking him the first time? I couldn't explain it but it felt like that was what I needed most, right then. We could, and would, do it any and every other way afterward but just this first time, I wanted him coming apart beneath me—and know that it was because of _me_that he was losing himself.

Edward could barely meet my eye, his gaze so unfocused. My grin turned a little more genuine, a little more pleased.

"Grab the lube from the bedside table Jacob," Edward ordered. I was surprised that despite how utterly wrecked he looked, he spoke so smoothly. I shouldn't have been surprised though. This was Edward after all. The only time I could ever remember him being fazed was when Bella was in trouble.

I ignored the dark look Edward shot me as I moved to the bedside table at a normal pace. "Is she who you really want to think about right now?" he asked, just the barest hint of pain in his voice.

Having found the lube, I was back on the bed over him, giving him as uncaring a look as I could manage. "There's no one else on my mind but you Ed."

He chuckled. "Charmer."

"Only for you."

I leant down slowly and kissed him full on the lips. I knew I couldn't distract him from me as I tried to open him up so I didn't bother trying. I kissed him as hard as I could as I opened a small bit of lube onto my fingers and spread it around. Reaching beneath him, I found his entrance easily and circled it several times so he could get used to the feeling, before finally slowly pressing the digit in.

"I won't break," he breathed between us. I remained silent.

The moment I tried to enter a second finger I knew I had run into a problem. Edward's body, especially his entrance, was not made to be penetrated—by anything. He was built to resist any mark, any hit, any amount of pressure. While one finger went in with slight ease, the moment I tried to push in a second, his body's instincts kicked in and refused me entry.

"Apparently you won't bend either," I muttered. He laughed again but broke off with a strangled sound when, in my determination to prepare him properly, I used the enhanced strength I had to force him wider so he could take both my fingers. I wasn't sure if it was a sound of pain or pleasure but something inside me urged me to keep going.

So I did. The lube was about as useful as a pair of pliers in opening Edward up. But I managed to stretch him open until he could take four of my fingers without too much struggle. I was pretty sure that anyone else and this motion would have broken their fingers. The thought had me smiling to myself.

"It's not funny," he huffed. My smile widened. "It kinda is," I said.

Just for the sake of propriety I added more lube to my length and covered it generously with the liquid. I didn't need to ask him if he was ready. I knew already. I had waited a lifetime for this and nothing, save for Edward's protests, would stop me. But I knew Edward wouldn't ask me to.

Pressing inside him was a relief of the most all consuming kind. I felt, for the first time in over a decade, like I could breathe again. It was a heady, intoxicating feeling, entering Edward like that. It was—It was _humbling_. This was it.

_This was it_.

I couldn't contain a loud, long moan of pure pleasure as I pushed all the way in. It hurt, God did it hurt because Edward's body was refusing my entry as it had my fingers, but it was such a good hurt. He was frigid cold and stiff as stone and I knew, down to my damn bones, that Edward was meant just for me and I was made for him. With no one else would I ever be able to take them roughly and know they wouldn't break. With no one else could Edward let himself completely go and know that they wouldn't get hurt. This was liberation.

I pulled back just as slowly, held myself still just for a second to truly relish the moment, and slammed in again so hard Edward cried out and moved several inches up the bed.

The beast inside me was truly, fully unleashed. I sat up and grabbed Edward's legs, bent them at the knees and held them as wide apart as I could. I was up halfway on my knees and not so much thrusting into him as I was jerking in and out, with every ounce of strength I possessed. His skin, every fiber of his being, broke apart and reconnected again with every thrust. It was the hardest pain and the most terrible pleasure converged together.

Edward was almost screaming, and he didn't seem to notice. He was biting down on his bottom lip so hard the skin around it was cracking into a spider web of divisions. His hair was a mess, his head thrown back and eyes closed as he clutched his bed sheets in his hands. They ripped easily in his firm grip—but that just meant he dug his fingers into his mattress.

I released an animalistic growl and sat up on my knees. I hauled Edward up until his shoulders were pinned by one of my hands to the bed and the other had his lower back and hips arching off the mattress, making it even easier to plunge into him. Edward ran his fingers through his hair in abandon, as if that action alone could ground him. But I refused to let Edward do anything but give himself over as completely as he could.

I pulled out and pushed him onto his front in the span of a blink before thrusting into him again. Leaning down, I covered his entire body with my more massive one, holding him down by just the breadth of my body. His face was pressed into the mattress and all I could think was that it was a good thing he didn't need to breathe.

I grabbed his hands and pushed them above his head, holding them there just by holding his wrists together. My face buried in the juncture between his neck and shoulder, I followed my instincts and bit down hard, teeth plunging into his skin.

Edward cried out. "Know this, my Edward," I whispered against his ear, knowing that even if he couldn't hear me verbally, he could hear my thoughts. "We belong to each other now. There will be no one else, ever." I grunted, feeling spikes of pleasure shoot up my spine. "For now until the end of time Ed. We're together. What we have—"

He turned his hands in mine until he gripped my fingers so tightly I felt my bones realign. "What we…have will never—never end," he finished for me, calling out my name in a cry of utmost bliss as he finally came.

I shouted, finding release inside him and knowing heaven. Perfection and heaven with my Edward beneath me—beside me. And it would last, of that I knew. Because we had each other—

And we had eternity.

* * *

I never did go back to Volterra. That isn't to say I escaped the Volturi's hold—it was just that, when you're staring down the road to eternity, a couple decades really meant nothing. Aro got in contact with Carlisle eventually, weeks after I had come back to Forks, and told him that they'd wait for me and Edward to return to them and provide them our services.

_After all_, he'd said, _what's a century of forever?_

Maybe when you've lived long enough a century means nothing compared to a never ending lifetime. But as for me? A century sounded like just enough time to devise a plan to get out of the Volturi's grip. And spend time with Edward of course. Because in the end, that was all that mattered. He was my life now. My whole world. Nothing—not time, not distance, not a government of blood sucking monsters—would tear me from him again. I was stronger than anything else the world could throw at me.

And even if _I_ wasn't, I now had Edward to face the world with.

* * *

**_END_**


End file.
